Young Original Cindy Series
by EmpressV
Summary: Story series based on Original Cindy's young life, loves, and the issues of coming out to her parents and friends. (Part 4 up now)
1. First Love

First Love Title: First Love   
Author: Empress Vader   
feedback: Lady_Vader21@yahoo.com   
rating: PG-13   
website: [http://www.geocities.com/lady_vader21/FanWork.html][1]

Spoilers: Shorties in Love   
summary: a 15 year old Original Cindy meets Diamond and learns to deal with her feelings..   
_It's hard to imagine OC as a shy, reserved, kid. But I tried._

_Authors note: of course, there's a G rated, well PG rated for the faint of heart, lesbian relationship in this piece._

~**~ 

They call her Original Cindy today, but in those days she was just little Cynthia McEachin. And Cynthia was in introverted girl. She had her friends and she was smart, everybody knew that. She was mostly liked and when she was 13 her friend Josie had set her up with a boy named Anthony that everybody called "Man". She and Man were a couple through Middle School and into high school. It was just the way it was, everyone thought they would get married one day and have kids. Everyone was wrong. 

By the time Cynthia reached High School, it was long since the days when the pulse hit and everyone had adjusted to life as is. She worked in the evenings delivering medicine for a local hospital, the pay wasn't much, but it was enough to contribute to the family funds. 

But no one knew Cynthia's secret, mostly because she chose to ignore it. She tried not to think of it as what it was when she first fell for Keisha in middle school. She couldn't explain it, she redirected her path to the lunch room just to see her everyday. She sat behind her in class, just enjoying the site of her, willing herself not to reach out and touch the caramel shoulder in front of her. She told herself that she admired the girl, but her subconscious knew it was more. The summer after, she and best friend Josie met Nicole. Nicole was the hottest girl Cynthia had ever met. She felt herself smiling everyday when they met up before going off to work at Nicole's father's struggling deli. Nicole was affectionate, she liked to hug everybody and laid all over her friends. She strutted around half dressed without modesty and with no apology. More than once, Cynthia found herself fleeing the room trying to calm herself down after her cheeks flushed from the contact of Nicole's skin on her own. 

Nicole was her big crush from the day she entered High school. It was the summer of her freshman year in high school that Diamond stepped into her life. Diamond was Josie's cousin. After a failed attempt to straighten her out by her father she was sent to live with her aunt. Cynthia had been sitting in the living room with Josie and Nicole, listening to some old R&B hit and there she was coming though the door with Josie's mom. 

"Girls," she said. "This is my niece. Diamond Latrel" 

The girls all stared wide eyed at her. Josie was visibly ticked off with this arrangement. 

"Mom," Josie whined. "She's not staying." 

"Only for a little while," her mother said as Diamond dropped her bag on the floor. 

"Stop whining Jay," Diamond said to Josie as she flopped on a chair in-between Nicole and Cynthia. "Diamond don't plan on kickin' it here very long." 

"Well Diamond ain't got much of a choice," Josie's mother said. 

"So who's these two cuties," Diamond said with a smile. She was at least two years older than the three of them. 

"Don't even think about it Diamond," Josie said with a growing fire in her eyes. 

"Whatever Jay, I'll introduce myself," Diamond said. "Diamond Latrel," she said putting her hand out to Nicole first. 

"Nicole," Nicole replied. 

"And you," Diamond said turning toward Cynthia. 

"Cynthia," Cynthia replied. 

"Nikki and little Cindy," Diamond said. "Cool. Despite what you've heard from Jay, Diamond does have a civilized bone in her body." 

She smiled and Cynthia was flushed with a sudden warmth. She liked Diamond right away, she didn't know why. 

"Diamond," Josie's mom called from the other room. "Bring your stuff in here." 

She got up from the chair and left the room. 

"How come you never told us about your cousin Josie?" Nicole asked. 

"She's talked about her," Cynthia replied. 

"She's a little different," Josie told them. 

"She has a nice smile," Cynthia said. "Seems cool to me." 

"She likes girls," Josie stated. Her two friends looked at her blankly, not registering her meaning. "I mean LIKES LIKES girls." 

"You mean -- " Nicole began. "She's gay," Nicole whispered. 

"Yeah and on top of that she's a thief, she's loud, and --" 

"We get it," Nicole said. "You don't like her." 

"Just trust me," Josie said. "Both of you would be better off staying as far away from Diamond as possible, all she causes is trouble." 

"Josie," her mother called from the other room. 

"Be back," Josie said getting up and leaving the room. 

"What you think of Diamond," Nicole said turning to Cynthia excited. Cynthia looked down where Nicole's arm touched her own. She had to take a breath before she spoke. 

"Seems cool," Cynthia replied. "The way Josie use to talk about her I was expecting horns, a tail, and a pitchfork." 

Nicole laughed and fell on Cynthia. She sat completely still as the girl lounged across her lap and smiled up at her. 

"Don't tell Josie this, but you're so much cooler than her." 

Cynthia smiled down at her. Then she looked up and saw Diamond looking at her from a doorway. Their eyes met. Diamond wore what seemed like a smirk for a second and then walked back into the other room.   
  
  
  
  


Within a few weeks Diamond was the life of the neighborhood, everyone's friend. Everyone knew her and everyone liked her, which upset Josie. Cynthia found herself hanging out on the stoop with Man just watching Diamond, amazed by her ability to pull people to her. She also found herself jealous because Nicole, without apology, was Diamonds new best friend. Josie wasn't too happy about it either. She talked about them day in day out. It didn't change Cynthia's fascination with either of them. Diamond was everything she wanted to be, she was who she was, she didn't ask for acceptance, only respect. 

"Hey Man," Diamond said coming over to Cynthia and Man where they sat on the stoop. She was bouncing a basketball. "You got any game? Diamond need some competition." 

"Don't think you want to ball with me," Man replied leaning back. He was one of the few people not to happy with Diamond. 

"Whatever," Diamond replied. "What about you Cindy?" 

"Me," Cindy said shocked. 

"Yeah, you?" 

"I couldn't land a ball in a basket if I wanted too." 

"Sure you could," Diamond said. "If you tried. Come on." 

Diamond grabbed Cynthia's hand and pulled her up. She walked her up to the basket and tossed the ball to her. Cynthia nearly dropped it. Gripping the ball, she tossed it at the basket. 

A bunch of boys behind her shouted "Air Ball" and laughed 

"Don't worry about them baby," Man shouted from the steps. Diamond retrieved the ball and walked up to her. 

"It's all about form boo," Diamond said dribbling the ball and sinking an impressive shot. She retrieved the ball again and walked up to her holding it. 

"Come here," she said. Cynthia walked up to her cautious. Diamond put the ball in her hand. Diamond was slightly taller than her and positioned herself behind Cynthia. She could feel Diamond, warm around her. It made her mind spin a little. She hardly heard the words leading up to, "Now try it." 

Cynthia tried again and missed again. But the ball actually hit the rim this time. The boys who had shouted "air ball" began to laugh and fell into laughter. Cynthia ignored them, because Diamond put an arm around her and looked back down at her with those warm brown eyes. 

"We're going to make you a player yet Cindy," Diamond said. 

There was just something about Diamond she couldn't resist. Man came over to them, suddenly there was this angry look on his face. 

"Come on Cynthia," Man said. "I promised to buy you lunch." 

Cynthia walked away with Man, hand in hand, but she stared back at Diamond for a moment. Their eyes locked, Diamond smiled. She smiled back and walked off with Man.   
  


The next day she closed her locker door and found Nicole waiting on the other side. Ever since becoming "friends" with Diamond she had turned into a wanna-be-bad girl. She wore one pants leg up and a bandanna on her head for some odd reason. And she spoke different too. 

"What's up?" Nicole said. 

"Nothing," Cynthia replied. No matter what, Nicole was still the most physically gorgeous girl she knew and she was struck speechless by her. She scared her and enthralled her all at once, and she didn't know why. 

"Why you pushin' up on my gurl?" she whispered. 

"Your girl?" Cynthia questioned confused. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. 

"Yeah," Nicole said. "Come here. . ." 

"It's almost time for cl--" Cynthia began. 

Nicole put a finger over her mouth as a symbol of silence. A involuntary sensation shot up her spine. She followed Nicole into the bathroom. Nicole perched herself in the window. Cynthia stood there, feeling silly as she gripped her books and attempted to focus on the word "class of 2005" rules on the bathroom wall in front of her. 

"I really like Diamond," Nicole said. 

"I do too," Cynthia said quickly. "She's nice." 

"Not like that," Nicole said. "Unless you mean like that" 

"Like what?" 

"You know, my number one" 

"Number one what?" 

"Let's not even start talking in circles," Nicole said sliding down out of the window and facing Cynthia. All Cynthia could think at that point was how good Nicole smelled. "I want Diamond to be my girlfriend. From the moment I met her, we were feeling each other" 

"Oh," Cynthia replied shocked. "Well you don't even have to worry about that with me." 

"She was hitting on you down at the court yesterday." 

"She was just showing me some moves," Cynthia said. 

"Man thought they were some interesting moves, they certainly bothered him." 

"Is that why you don't hang out with me and Josie anymore?" Cynthia asked. 

"Josie's a bitch," Nicole said. 

All of a sudden they heard a door creek. They were suppose to be in class. They both jumped, but then saw it was Diamond. They breathed a temporary sigh of relief for after that moment, the uncomfortable feeling returned. 

"Good little Cindy dropping out on class," Diamond said with a smile. 

"No, late for class," she replied rushing toward the door. Diamond grabbed her arm on the way. She didn't hurt her, just stopped her. They looked into each others eyes for a moment. 

"Diamond just playin' wit you," Diamond said. "Chill awhile." 

"I can't," Cindy said. 

And she continued out the door. But she didn't go to class, she just went a floor up and into another bathroom. Then she sat on the floor and cried. But she didn't understand why she was crying. Was it over Nicole, was it over Diamond, was it just her own mixed up feelings and those damn teenage hormones? Seeing as she started her cycle the next day, she guessed it must have been the last.   
  


The next day she sat at home with Man, on her floor. They were playing a card game, she said she didn't feel like going out. He leaned over the game and attempted to kiss her. She turned away from him. 

"What's wrong C?" he asked. 

"Nothing, I just don't feel like it," Cynthia replied. She had never been very comfortable kissing Man and when she was depressed, she couldn't even pretend. She told herself they were young and awkwardness was to be suspected. 

"Tell me about it. Let me make it okay," Man said. 

"You can't," Cynthia said getting up. She grabbed her jacket and walked toward the door. "I need some chocolate." 

She ran out the door and walked down the street. She didn't have any money for chocolate. It wasn't exactly cheep anymore. But it was the first thing she could think of. She followed an old road to an abandoned bus station she use to play in with Josie. Josie, who had set her up with Man, her boyfriends best friend. She had already planned the perfect weddings, in her mind. 

_"The depression will be over," she would say. "And we'll have flowing white gowns and doves"._ It all sounded so nice, on paper, in her dreams. But something always sounded wrong about it, felt wrong about it. She climbed into an old broken bus and sat in the back. That quickly, she heard a noise. It was Diamond. 

"Are you following me?!" she snapped. 

"Damn," Diamond said. "I'm sorry. I saw you were a little upset and I followed you." 

She turned to leave. 

"I'm sorry," Cynthia said standing up. "Please, don't leave. I need to talk to you." 

Diamond smiled and came to the back of the bus. She sat in front of Cynthia. 

"What do you want to talk about?" Diamond asked. 

"Nicole," Cynthia said. "Are you two? You know, are you two? Um, do you have other feelings for each other besides friendship." 

"Why, you jealous?" Diamond teased. 

"Are you kidding?" Cynthia said. "Of what?" 

"I've seen the way you look at Nicole," Diamond said. "I'm not stupid and you don't have to lie with me." 

"Lie," Cynthia said, standing up looking wounded. Diamond leaned over the seat in front of her. 

"I know what it's like kid," Diamond told her. 

"You don't know anything about me," Cynthia said. 

"So that's where we are, huh?" Diamond asked. 

"We are nowhere. I have a boyfriend." 

"Diamond's seen you and Man. You act more like good friends than lovers." 

"We're 15," Cynthia yelled. "We're not suppose to be lovers." 

"Tell me something," Diamond said walking up to Cindy. "Does he generate half the heat Nicole's smile does. Does he invade your senses the way she does." 

"I'm 15," she yelled again. 

"What does that have to do with anything?" Diamond told her. "He doesn't even generate the heat I do with you." 

Diamond walked up to her touched her face. Her hand slowly slid behind her neck. "You like a woman's touch. Your body is giving you a message." 

Diamond leaned in like she was about to kiss her. And for a split second, Cynthia thought about letting it happen. But then she broke away Diamond grabbed her arm as she tried to flee. 

"Yo, Boo, I'm sorry, it's aiight," Diamond said. Cynthia broke into tears and slid to the floor. 

"I'm not like you," Cynthia said. 

"Diamond don't want you to be her, she just want you to be you boo." Diamond said. Cynthia fell into her arms and cried. She didn't know why she felt they way she did. They sat on the back seat of the bus and she just laid there, on Diamond, crying for awhile. And again, she didn't know exactly what she was crying for or why it made her feel better to have Diamond there. Diamond gently kissed her on the forehead and she felt true comfort. She fell asleep in Diamond's arms. 

She woke up the next day and found herself wrapped in Diamonds arms. As she awoke, so did Diamond. Diamond looked down at her with that warm smile. Some force overtook her, something she wasn't yet ready to define, and she leaned into the other girl and touched her lips with her own. Diamond immediately respond without being to aggressive. She let Cindy lead. They teased and played with each others lips for a long time. Then suddenly she ended it and Cindy looked in Diamond eyes. 

"You all right Boo?" Diamond asked. 

"Maybe not," Cynthia said getting up. Shocked at herself. "I gotta go." 

Diamond didn't fight her at all. Cynthia slid out the seat and left the bus, she couldn't breath all of sudden, but it was okay. It was the best kiss she had ever shared. It had all the mind spinning magic that you read about. It was so right. And it wasn't even with the girl she had been fantasizing about for months. There had to be something wrong with her, wrong with it, but it felt so right.   


Her mother was standing outside the door when she got home. 

"Where have you been?" her mother said racing up to her. And there was this sudden shame. 

Then her father came out. She looked at them - the man - the woman - the child. That was how things worked, it was the reason she existed, it was the reason everyone existed. How could she feel something that went completely against that formula. Did Diamond know the answer? Did it matter? She didn't know if she could ever face Diamond, or Nicole for that matter, again.   
  
  
  


She told her parents she had been hanging out with a friend and lost track of the time. It was partially the truth. They wanted to know the friends name. She almost said Diamond's name, but then couldn't speak. The name Diamond was on the tip of her tongue. And it was more that she didn't want to remind herself, than the fact that she didn't want to tell her parents. She told her she parents she wasn't feeling too well and they let her stay home. She spent most of the day in bed, tossing and turning, trying not to think about that kiss. But it was still warm on her lips. She finally fell asleep and awoke to Diamond sitting on her floor playing solitaire. 

"What are you doing here?" Cynthia said sitting up. 

"Just wanted to see if you were all right boo," Diamond said. 

"Don't call me that," Cynthia said. 

"You didn't seem to mind last night." 

"All we did was kiss and it was a mistake." 

"Mistake?" Diamond scoffed. "You know what's weird," Diamond said standing up. "Diamond don't know if you're saying that for the usual reasons or because of Nicole." 

She walked over to the bed and sat down. 

"Listen Boo, I'll admit, Diamond's a little sweet on you, but she's also a bit older than you, just a little bit. She then had a gang of troubles that got nothin' to do with you or this." She took Cynthia's hand in her own. "But I can tell you this. That Nicole ain't worth it. If she's what you want, go for it, but she's going to break your heart." 

"I'm with Man," Cynthia stated plainly. 

"Well whichever way it go, Diamond be here when you get that head on right. You feel me?" 

She looked at her for a long time, unsure how to answer that question. Diamond eyes, from the moment she met her, those eyes had enchanted her and they were doing it again. 

"How'd you get in here?" Cynthia asked, changing the subject. 

"Window," she replied. 

"Better go out that way," Cynthia said. 

"Aiight Cindy, but hear Diamond on this, life is too short not go ahead and feel Boo. You can go the safe way, but your never gonna truly feel the way you did last night." Diamond leaned in close. "Friend or more, I'm here for you Boo." 

The bedroom door opened. Man stood there, looking at the two of them. Diamond looked at him, smiled a little cocky smile and stood up. 

"Just checkin' on my friend here," Diamond said in reply to his yet-to-be-voiced question. 

She patted Cynthia on the hand and left from the window. 

"What's up with dat?" he asked. 

"Nothin'," Cynthia quickly answered. 

"Was she who you were with last night?" Man asked. 

"Yes," Cynthia answered immediately. It was a direct question, no reason to lie. "I was upset. She hung out with me and we talked." 

"Just talked?" Man said. 

"What else would we do?" 

"That's what I'm trying to figure out," Man stated. "Cynthia, I'm not stupid. I see it." 

"See what? There is nothing to see." 

"You like her, you like the attention. And seeing as guys have never really, you know, chased after you. You may be thinking things that aren't quite right." 

"What!" Cynthia exclaimed. Suddenly angrier than she ever had been. She jumped out of bed. "Who in the hell do you think you are? You think I'm so desperate for attention that I'd go running into the arms of the first girl who looks at me right way." 

"The right way?" 

"That's so stupid," Cynthia continued, ignoring his comment. "I'm wondering if your brain took a temporary vacation today. Your not straight and then one day because the male gender isn't giving you enough attention you do a complete 360 and decide you're gay." 

"So you're not gay?" Man questioned. 

"Get out?" she ordered. 

She pushed him out the door. She didn't know where it all had come from. She didn't know why she had shouted at him that way. But she smiled to herself. She had never felt so liberated, so free. She liked that feeling.   
  
  
  


Cindy found herself outside Nicole's door. She had done some soul searching in the last couple hours. It was time to face things as they stood. She knocked on the door and to her surprise Josie opened the door. She stepped out on the porch quickly. 

"Cynthia," Josie said in hushed silence. "Please tell me what I heard from Man ain't true." 

"Huh," Cindy said, a little surprised that Josie already knew about that argument. 

"You and Man have been together since sixth grade," Josie told her. "You are not a lesbian." 

"He told you I was lesbian?" 

"He told me he caught Diamond in your room." Josie sighed. "I can't believe Diamond's played with your mind and Nicole's." 

"First of all, Diamond was in my room. But all she was doing was talking to me," Cindy told her. "And Nicole never did a thing she didn't want to do." 

"Diamond's bad," Josie said. "It isn't even about her being gay. She's been locked up before, in juvie." 

"But somehow it all comes back to her being gay, doesn't it Josie?" Cindy told her. "Diamond's real. She tells you who she is and what she's about and she doesn't care what you think." 

Cindy went past Josie and into the house. Nicole was sitting on the couch, her bad girl clothes gone, she wore a white dress and had her legs tucked under her as she sat on the floor. She stood up as Cindy came in the room. 

"What's up Cynthia?" she said. 

"I have to know," Cindy said. "What happened with you and Diamond?" 

"Why?" 

"Because I need to know." 

"We hung out," Nicole said. "Nothing more." 

"Nothing else?" 

"Diamond's a bitch okay." 

Cindy was taken aback by this comment. She had said the same thing about Josie the other day and Josie was here today. 

"I thought you liked her," Cindy said. 

"Maybe I did, maybe I was confused. I don't know." Nicole sighed. "She wants you." 

"I know," Cindy replied. "But my mind has been on someone else for awhile. Before Diamond even came into our lives, I was into this person." 

"I know Man" 

"No, not Man," Cindy replied as she cautiously walked up to her. She took a deep breath and licked her lips more from nervousness than anything. 

"Nicole," Cindy said. "It was you. From the moment I met you, there were these feelings I wouldn't face. Diamond opened my eyes." 

Nicole looked at her shocked. And Cindy leaned in and kiss her, briefly. Long enough to figure out there was no response. 

"You're a Dyke?" Nicole said shocked. 

The word had never sounded so offensive, so derogatory, so insulting and nasty. 

"If I am, what does that make you?" 

"I like guys," Nicole said. "I was just curious about Diamond. And when people were staying stuff about you and her, I didn't buy it. You're so, you know, sweet and quiet almost." 

"What does that have to do with how I feel?" 

"I don't feel that way," Nicole said. "I mean -- I'm sorry. Diamond was like a little adventure. I tried to kiss her and she liked rejected me and I don't know, I was out to prove something or something." 

Cindy did her best not to break into tears. She had embarrassed herself. Diamond had warned her about Nicole and she hadn't listened. She ran from the house and the tears broke free.   
  
  


She didn't know where else to go, she went back to the bus station. Amazingly, Diamond was there with a bunch of guys. Her eyes met Diamond's briefly before she turned to leave. 

"Cindy, wait, what's wrong Boo?" she called out to her. 

Cindy froze with her back to the group. 

"Diamond check you boys later," Diamond said giving them all a parting dap. "I got to talk to my gurl here." 

Diamond walked up to Cindy. She put her arm around her and walked out of the bus station. 

"What's wrong boo?" Diamond said as they walked. 

"Nicole," Cindy said. "I was so stupid. I kissed her." 

"And she wasn't into it." 

"I don't understand. How could she like you and not like me." 

"I don't understand it either. Don't pretend to. I mean life would be a lot easier if everybody was straight and everything amounted to a neat little formula. But it don't, life's never been easy, no matter what you dealin' in." Diamond sighed. "It takes all kinds to make a world. Perhaps Nicole ain't as straight as an arrow. But her heart certainly wasn't with me." 

"And you think mine is," Cindy asked. 

"I don't know," Diamond said as she stopped walking to look down into her eyes. "Diamond only knows one thing. Ever since she met you, she couldn't stop thinking about you. Might be the only reason I tolerated Nicole." 

Cindy smiled. "Why are you so nice to me?" 

Diamond leaned down toward her. She stood there, anticipating her kiss for a split second before she pushed her away. 

"I'm not ready yet -- not out here." 

"Aiight Boo," Diamond said. 

She put an arm back around her, pulled her close and they walked slowly down the street.   
  
  


Josie's house was empty and they needed quiet so they went there. In Diamond's room and just laid on her bed together. Cindy was alive that night, laying with Diamond, just talking, laughing, sharing. And she ended up kissing her, with no guilt, with no thoughts of anyone else, Man or Nicole. Being with Diamond, she reached a peace and a calm inside herself. She had been at odds with herself all day, but in Diamond's arms, everything was okay. And she fell asleep in Diamond's arms and she felt safe and complete and reborn. But as all things are, the feeling of comfort was only temporary.   
  


She heard the words "What the hell is going on here?" before she even openned her eyes. 

"Hey Auntie," Diamond said sitting up. Cindy was just plain lost and remained silent. 

"Your parents are looking for you," Josie's mom said coming in the room. "And your here with my niece doing God knows what." 

"Auntie, we was sleeping," Diamond said standing up. "That's it." 

"You expect me to believe that," her aunt said. "Given your history." 

"Has Diamond ever disrespected your house?" Diamond asked her aunt. "I mean come on, we're still dressed." 

"You will not have these types of relationships while your living with me at all." 

"It's the only type of relationship I have. I don't like guys that way period," Diamond told her. 

Her Aunt sighed. "No matter what you think you are, you're not going to corrupt this girl, period," her aunt told her. "Cynthia get your stuff." 

Cindy grabbed her shoes and put them on. 

"Diamond didn't do anything to me," Cindy told Josie's mother. "I like Diamond." 

"And you liked Man before she got here," Josie's mom said. "Let's go." 

As she was walked out of the room, she saw Josie and Nicole standing in the living room, the last two people she wanted to see. Josie's mom walked her home, giving her a speech all the way about the way things should be. But she'd learned the way things should be and the way they were could be two different things. 

Josie's mom reported to her parents where she had been found and they suddenly looked at her like they were seeing an alien. When she was asked if she had been with Diamond the other night, she answered truthfully. When asked what they were doing, she admitted "we kissed a couple times". And then they asked the all important question, but they asked it all wrong. 

"So you think you're lesbian now?" her father had asked. 

And she answered plainly. "No, I know I've always been one dad." 

They looked at her shocked as she told them how she had always had these feelings for girls that she refused to explain to herself. They didn't believe her, they blamed Diamond and forbade her to see Diamond. She told them they couldn't do that. 

"We're your parents," her father said. "We brought you into this world." 

"So what!" Cindy yelled. "It's my life! And this is how I FEEL." 

She was sent to her room where she cried. Would life always be this hard from now on? She fell asleep crying. The next thing she knew, there was a hand on her mouth. She awoke in the darkness to find Diamond in her room. She hushed her with a finger to her lip as she removed her hand. 

"Diamond," Cindy said in a low voice, shocked as she looked at her. 

"Hey Boo," Diamond said. 

"Hey," Cindy smiled. "What you doing here?" 

"Diamond don't know what she's doing here. Guess she's a little sorry about how things turned out. I don't want you to feel like I'm pushing you into anything." 

"You didn't," Cindy said sitting up in bed. "Your the only person who understands." 

"You know what's weird?" Diamond said. "People act so liberated and cool till it's their peeps. They can accept their co-worker being gay or their neighbor, but let it be their sister or nephew or cousin and it becomes this big thing. At least that's been my experience." 

"It doesn't matter," Cindy said. "It doesn't change how I feel about you." 

"And how is that?" Diamond teased, tracing a finger across her cheek and cupping it in her hand. "You loved Nikki this morning." 

"I never loved Nicole. It was just a crush, she wasn't my first crush, probably won't be my last." Cindy smiled. "But you were my first real kiss and so much more." 

"Your just to damn sweet," Diamond said running a finger over her cheek. "Diamond destined to screw this up somehow." 

"Don't say that," Cindy said looking at her. "I think I could love you." 

"I think I could love you too," Diamond said leaning in to kiss her. 

She met her kiss. Passion, intensity, warmth, love, she felt all those things when she kissed Diamond. It was just so right with her, it scared her and excited her all at once. She'd fight the world to hold on to this feeling of completeness Diamond had given her. She filled up this place inside of her that was so empty and unfulfilled for so long. No one would take that away, no one. 

Diamond left eventually, because neither one of them needed more trouble that night.   
  
  
  


The next day, the rumor mill was in full swing. She passed Man in hallway, he didn't even speak. A couple girls giggled as she walked past. Some gave her looks. Violet, a girl who had been out for awhile, came up to her and told her she'd be all right, it would past, as it had for her. She had never spoken to Violet before, so the girl acting like they were friends weirded her out. And Diamond didn't show up for School. Josie and Nicole wouldn't even speak to her when she asked about her. A couple of annoying guys tried to hit on her, then made some lude comment about Dykes that made her want to reach out and slap them. It was a horrible day. Then she was there, right after school, as soon as she turned the corner. 

"Where have you been?" Cindy asked. 

"Nowhere," Diamond smiled. "My aunts sending me packin', so I bounced before she could arrange another relative for me. I'm hold up with some cool peeps I know at a place. You want to come with, leave all this behind?" 

"You'd take me with you?" 

"Yeah," she smiled. "Why not?" 

"We haven't known each other that long and what about school?" 

"In this failing economy, do you really see Diamond going to college? Working on wall street or some shit? No, it's truly come down to the haves and have nots. School ain't shit, just some outdated crap they send us to out of habit. What's the point?" 

There was so much about Diamond she didn't know or understand. Who she was, where she was from. Everything was moving too fast, happening too soon. She wasn't ready to leave her family, no matter what was going on. 

"I can't do it Diamond," Cindy said. "I guess I'm not a brave as you." 

"You're brave," Diamond said. "After all the shit that's gone down, you still here, talking to me." 

"How could I not?" Cindy said reaching for her hand. Their finger entwined, Diamond bought Cindy's hand to her lips and kissed her finger. Cindy smiled. 

"Well well," said a voice immediately recognized as Josie. "What's going on here?" 

"Stop trippin' Jay," Diamond said. 

"The name is Josie," her cousin corrected. 

"My mother thought you were gone?" 

"Diamond is gone, out of your house. But it's a free city." 

"What is wrong with you Cynthia? You use to be so smart," Josie said. 

"What's wrong with you Josie?" Cindy asked. "You use to act so civilized." 

Josie smirked and walked away with Nicole in tow. Diamond laughed. 

"Damn, I got to bounce. She's probably going to tell Auntie she saw me," Diamond said. 

Diamond let go of Cindy's hand and started to walk away. 

"Diamond," Cindy called. "When will I see you again?" 

"Tonight," Diamond said. "Stay strong in the struggle suga." 

"I will," Cindy said with a smile.   
  
  
  


Cindy's father, who should have been at work at this hour, was sitting on the steps when she got home. 

"Dad," she said shocked. 

"Josie tells me you were with that girl again." 

"Damn she got a big mouth." 

"What did you say?" Her father said shocked. 

"Nothing," Cindy said sucking her teeth and trying to walk past him. 

"You will not see that girl again," her father said grabbing her arm. 

"That girl, her name is Diamond," Cindy shouted. "And I love her." 

Her father looked at her shocked. Those words shocked him and it shocked Cindy too. Had she said it just to prove a point or did she mean that she loved Diamond? She broke away from her father, ran past him, and went into her room. Her mother knocked on the door. She shouted "leave me alone". Now she did want to leave.   
  
  


It was approaching midnight when Diamond came through her window. Cindy had been dressed and waiting for her when she fell asleep. She woke up immediately with the sound. 

"What's up Boo," Cindy said to Diamond. 

Diamond smiled, it was the first time Cindy had ever graced her with that particular term of endearment. It meant something. 

"Come on, lets get out of here for awhile." Diamond took her hand and they left through the window. She had a car waiting. 

"Where'd you get a car?" Cindy asked. 

"A friend," Diamond said. "Get in?" 

They climbed in the car and Diamond drove. The radio didn't work, so they talked. Diamond told Cindy how her mother had bailed on her when she seven and since then she had been passed around from family member to family member. None of them really wanted her. When she had lived with her mother, it had been a nightmare. Her mom had had abusive boyfriend after abusive boyfriend. They were always broke, even before the pulse. So her mom would either have her steal things or get her to distract people while they stole food. Her mom was addicted to heroine and sometimes stole the food and then sold it for drugs and Diamond still went hungry. She was so use to being hungry, even when her relatives feed her well, she'd steal just to make sure she had it when she needed it. It was the only way she knew how to live. For some reason it never crossed Cindy's mind thievery might be responsible for the vehicle she was in now. 

They found a clearing and just sat in the back of the car talking for hours and hours. And in that comfort they only found with each other, they fell asleep in each other's arms. It was almost five in the morning when they awoke and Diamond turned the car back toward home. 

"I don't even want to go back," Cindy said as she stood outside her door. 

"Diamond don't want you to go," Diamond said touching her ever so gently. "I love them pretty brown eyes. I could gaze at them all day everyday." 

"Ditto," Cindy said. 

"How far you think we could drive in this old hoopty?" 

"I don't know," Cindy replied. 

Diamond moved in for a kiss and then stopped. "I'm sorry" 

"It's okay," Cindy said. 

"It is?" Diamond replied 

"It is," Cindy said touching Diamond's lips gently with her own. 

Diamond leaned into the kiss, caressing the others lips ever so gently with her own. But Cindy pulled Diamond to her, deepening the kiss further. She just wasn't afraid anymore, she wanted to feel, she wanted to be real, and she didn't care what the world thought anymore. 

Then came the sirens. The kiss broke. Cindy saw her parents standing on the porch. A couple houses down there was Man. Across the street there was Josie and her mom. And there were cops. Four cops, two cars. And the cops had guns pointed at Diamond. 

"Diamond Latrel, you and your friend are under arrest. Step away from the car," the cop said. 

"Damn," Diamond said. "I'm sorry." 

"The car is stolen?" Cindy asked. 

"Yeah," she admitted. "I didn't think anyone would miss it." Diamond told her. 

Diamond put her hands up and stepped away from the car. "Listen, my girl over there ain't have nothin' to do with this. She ain't even know." 

Diamond let the cop pat her down and check her for weapons. Another cop came over to Cindy and did the same. He asked her what had happened, she told the truth. They talked to her parents, who fingered Diamond as a "bad influence." 

Cindy was released into her parents custody. Diamond was put in a squad car. Tears flooded Cindy's eyes as her parents turned her toward the house to take her inside, but she broke away and ran to the squad car. The one holding Diamond had an open window. Cindy reached inside and brought Diamond's lips to her own and they shared a long good-bye kiss in front of everyone. It took the shocked policeman a minute to react. She pulled her away. 

"I love you Diamond," Cindy shouted. 

"I love you too," Diamond replied. 

"Come back to me," Cindy said with tears in her eyes. 

"Diamond will come back to you," Diamond said as the car pulled off. She watched it go. The cop let her go. 

"Don't pull that trick again," the police woman said. 

Cindy nodded and turned toward her parents. She walked past them and went straight to her room. Diamond was her first love, no one had ever given so much to her - her heart, her head, everything, filled with love for Diamond.   
  
  


The next day she sat on the steps alone tracing patterns in the dirt with a stick. No one was speaking much to her anymore and she didn't really feel like talking anyway. Then Josie sat beside her. 

"How long have we been friends?" Josie asked. 

"Forever," Cindy replied. 

"Then why didn't you listen to me when I warned you about Diamond." 

"Because I fell in love with her." 

"God, if you wanted a girlfriend, you could have picked one better than my dumb ass cousin." 

Cindy cocked her head to the side and looked at her. 

"I had a lot of time to think last night," she said. "What I saw yesterday. I have no right to judge you. It took a lot of nerve to do what you did. Just kiss her right there in front of everyone." 

Cindy half smiled. 

"Still homies," Josie said presenting her hand. 

"For life," Cindy said taking her hand. They shook for a second and then hugged. 

"Check out that freak," Josie said pointing across the street where Nicole was flirting with Man. 

"She can have him," Cindy told her. "Cindy don't need no Man." 

They both laughed at the double meaning. 

"You'll never guess what she said yesterday." 

"Let me guess, Cindy's a bitch." 

Josie grinned. "For you," she said handing Cindy a picture of Diamond. They hugged and for the moment, things were fine. Her heart still missed and ached for Diamond, but she had her friend back. And she was one step closer to being accepted.   


the end   
  


   [1]: http://www.geocities.com/lady_vader21/FanWork.html



	2. Caught Up

Caught up   
Title: Caught up   
Author: Empress Vader   
feedback: Lady_Vader21@yahoo.com   
rating: PG-13   
Spoilers: Shorties in Love   
website: [http://www.geocities.com/lady_vader21/FanWork.html][1]

summary: A 16 year old Original Cindy tries to deal with her feelings for a girl named Skate. 

Authors note: Of course, there's a PG rated lesbian relationship in this piece. Cindy is not being called Original Cindy by anyone yet. 

_Dear Diamond,_

_It's your girl Cindy, like you didn't know that. Thanks for the Birthday letter. Turning 16 was kind of weird. My parents don't know what to do with me anymore. They tiptoe around me like I have the plague. My birthday was the last time I saw Josie. As much as I missed her when she moved away, my biggest fear is that when you come back home, it won't be to me. But we'll find a way, we have too, because I'm not complete without you._

_Your Boo forever,_

_Cindy_   
_OXOXOX_

Cindy closed the letter, sealed the envelope and left her room. She walked down to the mailbox and dropped it in. Then she pulled her wallet out. Wasn't much money in it, but the picture Josie had given her of Diamond was in there. Worn from being handled, creased from being folded. She smiled down at it and tucked it back in her pocket. She had been plotting a way to take the bus to visit Diamond despite the fact her parents said no. They still blamed Diamond for her "condition" as they called it. So far her plans had all been intercepted by something or someone. So she and diamond just wrote back and forth to each other 

"Yo Cindy," a guy called as he approached. 

She smiled. It was Snuffy. She had befriended Herbal and Snuffy a few months back. To her surprise, she found herself with more male friends than female friends. Snuffy knew Diamond before she had gotten locked up. Snuffy and Herbal were friends. And Herbal was mad cool. So the three of them often hung out together. Her father had seen her with Herbal one day and assumed they were dating. Angry, she set him straight immediately. 

"What's up," Cindy said putting her wallet away and greeting each of them. 

"My boy 'ere 'on't to go check out the junkyard," Herbal said. "You be 'oin' wit us?" 

"Cindy don't know. The parentals," Cindy said. 

"It's fly," Snuffy added. "And the ladies down there are hot." 

Cindy's eyes suddenly fell to the ground. 

"Come on Cindy," Snuffy said. "Diamond don't expect you to be celibate." 

She didn't feel like telling him by all accounts, physical or otherwise, she was a virgin. She had never had any kind of sex with anyone. She didn't see anything wrong with that, she had just turned 16. But boys could be real stupid about virginity. They considered losing their virginity the gateway into manhood. She wasn't seeking manhood, or womanhood, that way. When it was time, it would happen, or so she told herself. 

"I know Diamond got her thing going," Snuffy laughed. "She always do. That chick use to pull better broads then me." 

"Snuffy my friend, everyone pulls better broads den you," Herbal told him. 

The two boys laughed for a moment. Cindy didn't find anything funny. Herbal quickly picked up on this. 

"My brother," Herbal said. "You see how dis is hurtin' our sister." Herbal put his arm around Cindy. "If our sister feels dat the love is real, who are we to judge?" 

"I'm sorry Cindy," Snuffy said. "We cool." 

Snuffy opened his arms for a hug. 

"Yeah, we cool," Cindy said hugging him. "Let's go check this place out," she said as they broke the hug.   
  
  
  
  
  


They called it the junkyard, because it had been created from junk. Originally pieced together as a Skate park, the teenagers had fashioned ramps and such from scraps they'd found and made it their own personal hang-out. Seeing it was a popular spot, vendors set up near the place. Though most of the food they sold, while edible, wasn't great. Most of the skate boards, skates, and bikes the teenagers used had been pieced together with parts they found. A select few actually had money for bikes and skate boards and such. Some helped others out. Some budding artist hung out there, creating logos for different crews on "the wall". But to make it to the "Wall" a crew had to prove it's skill. A lot of kids came just to hang out, they made bets, mingled with their friends. The place was alive with kids and activity. 

Cindy sat with her two friends and watched a girl and boy from two different crews skate through an obstacle course. The girl was winning. She had some fancy moves. 

"Who's that?" Cindy asked. 

"They call her Skate," Snuffy answered. "She's very cool. I'm going to hook up with her." 

It was no surprise to her that the girl won. She shook hands with her opponent after and skated over to where Cindy was sitting with her friends. She was a pretty girl - gorgeous skin, long brown hair, great athletic shape, and she had enchanting green eyes. Cindy couldn't help following her with her eyes. 

"Hey Snuff, Herbal," She said with a smile as she shared a dap with each of them. "Who's your friend?" 

"Dis is Cindy," Herbal said. 

"What's up," Skate said turning toward her. They shook hands. 

"Why do they call you Skate?" Cindy asked. 

"Because I'm a master of all things on wheels," Skate said with a smile. She skated backward and did a little spin. "My parents had me doing this ice skating thing when I was younger, pre-pulse." 

"Cool," Cindy said. 

"Are you kidding?" Skate said flopping down beside her. "I hated it. My mom wanted to be in the olympics, but she was in a car accident." Skate frowned. "She lived, but was confined to a wheel chair." 

"I'm sorry," Cindy said. 

"She's all right," Skate replied. "This is too much to be laying on somebody in our first meeting anyway," Skate said with a smile. "I'm sorry." 

"Yo, there go blaze," Snuffy said pointing to a guy on a bike as he rode in popping a wheelie. 

Cindy tried to concentrate on the show, but she kept glancing at the girl beside her. She tried not to think to hard about it, but Skate glanced away from Blaze and smiled at her. It shook her up. She was no longer the shy little kid she'd been a year ago. But she was still unfamiliar with courtship rituals and the idea of macking to a girl still scared her a little. Besides, she loved Diamond. 

"Scuze me," Skate said. "I got to show this brother some moves." 

Skate took off her skates. She threw on some tennis and grabbed a bike. As she rode past Cindy, she winked.   
  
  


Cindy decided to pull out after hanging out awhile. Herbal and Snuffy had started talking to some girls and it got old fast, especially since both the girls were ugly. She was surprised when Skate came rolling up beside her. She glanced to the side and kept walking. She skated in front of her. 

"You gonna pretend you don't see me?" 

"Going home," Cindy said. "Is there something you want? Cindy don't have time for games." 

She wondered if she sounded to cold. Skate had been nice so far. 

"All right, I'm going to be straight with you," Skate said. "Snuffy told me to hang out with you." 

"Oh god, he's setting me up," Cindy sighed. "Cindy gonna have to put a straight up beat down on that nigga." 

"Don't trip," Skate said. "It's not like that. Snuffy told me your best friend left a few weeks ago and your girlfriend is currently locked down. He says your cool, but you've been real sad lately. Said you might be in need of a non-testosterone driven friend. Not quite in those words, but you know." 

She was a little ticked Snuffy had taken it upon himself the tell all her personal history to this stranger, even if she was an adorable stranger. Skate smiled, Cindy couldn't help but return it. She couldn't help feeling awkward around her. She was cute, too cute. It shook her up. Her heart was still very much with Diamond. She didn't want to feel anything for any other girl. But it didn't seem like Skate was looking for romance. 

She started walking, Skate skated beside her. 

"So, how'd your girl get locked up." 

"She stole a car," Cindy said quietly. 

"So you like bad girls huh," Skate teased. 

"Seeing as Diamond was my first girlfriend," Cindy replied. "I don't have much to judge by." 

"You know what your attracted too," Skate said. 

"Can we talk about something else?" Cindy said. 

"Sure," Skate said. "Your best friend, how long were you friends." 

"Since ova, our moms went to Lamaze together, threw us in the same play pen while they visited each other. She's Diamond's cousin." 

"How Cute," Skate said. 

"Actually, Cindy and Diamond's romance was not made better by this situation." 

"Worse?" 

"In a way," Cindy said. "But it was all good with me and Josie in the end. Can't say the same for my parents." 

"This is Cindy's crib," Cindy said. "See you later." Cindy turned away 

"You don't want me to come in?" Skate asked. 

She pondered the question for the moment. 

"My feet are a little tired," she said. 

"Sure, Whatever," Cindy said as she opened the door. 

Skate came in and sat on their frumpy couch. For the first time, Cindy noticed the quality of Skate's in-line skates. They weren't cheep or pieced together. 

"You want something to drink, we got water," Cindy said. 

"Sure," Skate said pulling off her skates. 

Cindy gave her a glass of water and sat as far as she could on the other end of the couch. 

"Do you think I'm going to infect you with something," Skate asked. 

"No," Cindy replied, feeling a little silly. 

"I'll leave if you want," Skate said standing up. 

"I thought you said your feet hurt." 

"They do," Skate said. "But if I'm intruding, I'll leave." 

"It's cool," Cindy said. "It's just--" 

"What?" 

Cindy sighed. "You going to laugh." 

"No I won't," Skate said sliding closer. 

"Girls make Cindy a little nervous," Cindy admitted, the words flowing out as quickly as possible. 

Skate giggled. "Really?" 

Cindy didn't know why she had admitted that at all. Maybe it was because she was a girl. The guys would have teased her for saying such a thing. She had this shield where they were concerned. Sometimes they'd be watching tv or looking at a magazine and she'd comment as freely as they would about an attractive body, a cute face. On other issues, it was just a matter of putting up the right front. But flesh and blood women still made her a little nervous. 

"Your laughing at me," Cindy said getting up. "Why did I even say anything?"   


Skate walked up behind her and put her arms around her from the back. Cindy was about ready to jump out of her skin, but she was so warm. 

"It's okay," she whispered in her ear. "I would never tell the boys." She backed off and Cindy missed the warmth. "Besides, you got nothing to fear from me. I'm just a regular old girl from around the way." 

Skates' watch beeped, yet another expensive item. 

"Damn," she said looking at it. "It's my Dad," Skate said. "I got to go. We got a spades game going at Jeff's house later. You going to be there." 

"Don't know Jeff." 

"Snuffy do," she replied. "If he coming, why don't you drop by." 

"Maybe," Cindy said. 

Skate grabbed her stuff and walked out the door. As she exited, Cindy's mother came in. 

"Who was that?" she asked. 

"A friend," Cindy replied. 

"Friend?" 

"Yes," Cindy snapped. "Your daughter is allowed to have friends isn't she." 

"I am still your mother," she said. "Don't talk to me that way." 

"I understand your exploring yourself right now, but you will not do certain things in this house," her mother stated. 

"What have a friend over, give her a glass of water, and talk," Cindy snapped. "I'm in love with Diamond okay," she continued. "My girlfriend is locked up, you don't have a thing to worry about." She went in her room and slammed the door.   
  


There was a knock on her door sometime later. She opened the door and her mother came in and sat on the bed she sat beside her. 

"This isn't a phase is it." her mother said. "That you'll have to live with this stigma all you life." 

"It's who I am mom, my friends accept it, why can't my family?" Cindy said. 

"You know how much it hurts me to know you'll never make me a grandmother. You'll never know what it like to be married and have a family." Her mother sighed. "To be loved by a man." 

Cindy frowned. "Don't you understand. Love is love, it's always love. And I love Diamond and none of you respect it, or care for that matter." 

"We care Cindy," her mother said. "But Diamonds a criminal." 

"Diamond made some mistakes," Cindy said. "But she loves me." 

"Even if Diamond were a boy," her mother said. "We'd have a problem with you dating a convict. Maybe if you'd met a nice girl, it would be easier on us." 

"Except you know that's a lie," Cindy said. 

"Maybe we'll never be happy with it," her mother said. "But it would certainly help to relieve some issues if your girlfriend wasn't a jailbird." 

Cindy sighed. Then her mother did something unexpected, hugged her and kissed her on the forehead. Then she got up and left. A nice girl huh? Skate immediately came to mind. Somehow she didn't see her family embracing Skate or any other girl. Besides, she didn't even now if Skate was gay or straight. all she knew was Skate wore seemed to have her hands on some expensive stuff. And that could mean she was just like Diamond.   
  


She planning on going to Jeff's house, but at 11 o'clock, Snuffy and Herbal came knocking on her window. 

"What yawl doin' here?" Cindy said. 

"Skate said you needed to be picked up," Snuffy told her. 

She sighed. It wasn't quite a lie, it wasn't quite the truth. 

"Shouldn't be going out this late," Cindy said. 

"Come on, you've done it before," Snuffy said. 

She shrugged, it was true. Plus, it wasn't that she didn't like Skate. It was just that the girl unnerved her, bothered her. The last thing she needed was another Nikki. That's who Skate reminded her of and she needed to avoid that at all cost. But she left with the boys anyway.   
  
  


When she got there, she was a little sorry she had come. There were a couple tables set up, various card games going on. The truth was, she had never bothered to learn any card game beyond "War" and "Go Fish". 

"Cindy, what's up," Skate called as she walked up behind her and put her arms around her shoulder. 

"Hey Skate," she replied. 

"What's up boys?" Skate said to them. "Want to be my partner," Skate asked. 

"Can't play," Cindy said. "Don't know the game." 

"That's all right, you can just come sit with me and I'll teach you," Skate told her. "Cool with you?" 

"Cool," Cindy replied. 

Skate walked to a table with Cindy beside her. Cindy didn't know where Herbal and Snuffy had went off too. Skate introduced Cindy to the two boys and one girl at the table. Skate's partner was a guy. Cindy sat beside Skate. She whispered to Cindy each time she was dealt a hand telling her which cards were good, how to bid, etc etc etc. She found herself smiling and laughing at the table within a few hours. Whispering back to Skate about her cards. They were playing poker on the other side of the room and it was far more serious. Cindy caught sight of Herbal and Snuffy over there. 

Skate and her partner lost and then Skate offered her a beer. She said yes, but she had never drunk beer before. They walked together out to the nearly empty backyard. Their was a couple making out on there. Cindy felt a little weird being in their space. Skate didn't seem effected at all. 

"What is your real name?" Cindy finally asked. 

"Kiersten," Skate replied. 

"Pretty," Cindy said. "Unlike my plain old name." 

"I don't know, I don't like it. To girlie." 

"You are a girl," Cindy told her. 

"I know," Skate said. "But I'm not exactly the princess my parents want me to be." 

"Who is," Cindy said, as she watched Skate take a swig of beer. "Me and my mom had an interesting little talk after you left." 

"What happened?" 

"She thought you were her daughter's knew girlfriend," Cindy said playing with the bottle in her hands. 

Skate laughed. "What did you tell her?" 

"That I was in love with Diamond." 

"Have you seen her?" Skate asked. "I mean since she got arrested." 

"No," Cindy said. "Been trying to though." 

"What was she like?" Skate asked. 

"Intoxicating," Cindy said with a smile. "She knew just just how to get me right here." She touched her heart. "Even though at the time I was infatuated with another girl." 

"What was her name?" 

"Nikki," Cindy replied. "What about you?" 

"What about me?" Skate said. 

"Past boyfriends, girlfriends, whatever." 

Skate smiled, a sly smile. 

"You want to know if I'm gay or straight." 

Cindy shrugged. "I just want to know about you." 

"I had a boyfriend last year. Total cutie pie, thought I was in love with him. I messed around with a girl once. I don't know, I like who I like." 

"So do you consider yourself bi-sexual?" 

She shrugged. "I consider myself, myself. What are the labels really for?" 

"To let guys know Cindy ain't havin' it," Cindy replied. Skate smiled. 

"So you gonna drink that beer or play with it?" Skate asked glancing at her with those enchanting green eyes. 

"I've never really had any before," Cindy said. She looked down at it for a minute and took a swig. It was the foulest tasting thing she'd ever had, she spit it out and dropped her bottle, startling the couple that had been making out. They got up and left, leaving the girls alone. Skate laughed. 

"You find Cindy funny huh," she said standing up. 

"Don't be so sensitive," Skate said as she stood up. She walked beside her and put an arm around her neck. "Her take a drink of mine and don't hit it so hard." 

Skate put the bottle to her lips and Cindy helped guide it with her own hand. Her eyes met Skates over the bottle. It didn't taste so foul this time. Or maybe it was the view. They talked some more and shared Skates beer. After awhile, Cindy put her hand in her pocket, pulled out her wallet and looked at Diamond's picture, then showed it to Skate. 

"That's my girl," Cindy said. "Ain't she fine." 

"Not as fine as you," Skate replied. She smiled and kissed Cindy softly, gently. It could have even been interpreted as friendly. "I'm sorry," Skate said with a giggle. "I'm buzzed. Damn, I can't drive." 

"You have a car?" Cindy said surprised. 

"I have a lot of things," Skate said. 

Herbal and Snuffy finally showed up and luckily, Herbal was able to drive. Cindy was surprised Skate had a nice Jeep. They dropped her off first and she got in without being caught, but the next morning she had to do her best to hide her hangover. 

"Where were you last night," she asked as she dropped a mush that resembled oatmeal in her bowl. 

"In bed," Cindy replied. 

"I went to check on you last night," her mother said. "And you weren't there." 

Cindy shifted in her chair. 

"Were you with that girl?" her mother asked. 

"I went to a party," Cindy replied. 

"On a school night," her father exclaimed standing up. 

"What exactly is the point of school?" Cindy asked. "I'm not going to be getting no office job." 

"One day," her father said. "This depression is going to be over. And you're going to need your education." 

"Then I'll worry about school then," Cindy yelled, slamming a chair as she got up from the table. 

"Come back here," her father said. Cindy left the room, with her father yelling at her. She was to out of it to go far. Josie's house was still empty, so she crawled through the window and slept. She was a bit more level headed when she awoke at noon and went back to her empty house. She didn't know why she had snapped on her father, hormones maybe. Skate showed up at her house at 3, about an hour before her mom was due home. 

"What you doing here?" Cindy asked as she opened the door. 

"Damn, did I upset you that much last night?" 

"We gotta bounce now," Cindy said coming out the door. "If my mom or dad see me that's it." 

"Damn, did you get in that much trouble?" Skate asked when they were a good distance from her house. 

"I snapped on my dad this morning and cut school." 

"Really?" 

"It was fucked up," Original Cindy said. 

"We were all a little fucked up last night," Skate said. "I'm sorry." 

Cindy wanted to say "you kissed me last night", but decided to avoid that conversation. they were drinking, they were acting stupid. That was the end of it. She wasn't ready to talk about it. 

"I need to go home and deal with being punished. Can I talk to you later? I don't have a phone, but you know where I'm at." 

Skate reached down in her vest pocket and pulled out a pen. She took Cindy's hand, opened it and wrote her number on there. "I do have a phone. So if you can get to one, this is how to reach me." 

Cindy smiled. Still rationalizing the kiss as something that just happened while they were a little buzzed. It didn't mean anything. She liked Skate, as a friend. Every girl needed a girl to talk to and Skate had a rhythm all her own. Cindy couldn't help being drawn to it. 

"Later," Cindy said turning towards home. She turned back for a moment, Skate was watching her leave. Yeah, she had a new friend.   
  
  


Cindy apologized to her father on her own, but she was punished for a month. She went to school and after school, she went to her mothers job and worked. She swept, cleaned counters, washed dishes. Her mom was a waitress in this high class restaurant (on of the few in existence) and Cindy wages went straight to her mother. After work, she came home, she ate dinner, she went to bed. She didn't complain. 

The restaurant had a phone, so if she got a free moment, she sometimes called Skate. And at night she wrote letters to Diamond and mailed them in the morning on the way to school. She was very careful to avoid mentioning Skate, though she couldn't think of a good reason why she was doing it. Skate was just a new friend of hers. Diamond wrote back, but her mom always read the letters first and certain letters she refused to give to her. Said they were "inappropriate".   


When she was finally off punishment, she got Skate to pick her up after school. She still planned to get home early, but it was a Friday and she was going to have fun. She was leaving with Herbal and Snuffy when Skate pulled up in front of the school. Skate jumped out the car and greeted the two guys and then Cindy. 

"You finally off of lock down huh?" Skate said to Cindy. 

"Cindy is free," Cindy told her. 

"Then lets roll," Skate said. 

The two girls jumped in the vehicle. Snuffy came up to the car. 

"What about us?" Snuffy asked 

"This is ladies night," Skate said as she turned the key. 

Skate pulled off, the boys watched them leave. 

"She then stole my girl," Snuffy said turning to Herbal. 

"You hooked them up, mon, "Herbal told him. 

"Yeah," Snuffy said. "But Cindy was suppose to be my in." He sighed, "girls"   
  
  
  


"Where we going?" Cindy finally asked after they had drove for almost an hour. 

"Well, I've been to your crib, it's about time you checked out mine." 

Cindy sat silent, afraid. Her crib? She wasn't sure if she was ready for that. She asked herself a million times, what exactly was going on with Skate and herself. She tried to tell herself they were just friends, never quiet convincing herself that was all they were. Truth was, they had only kiss once and otherwise it had been all good. 

Suddenly, Skate pulled into paradise. She'd heard rumors of neighborhoods like this, but was never quite convinced they existed. 

"What are we doing here?" Cindy said. 

"Didn't I tell you," Skate said pulling into a driveway. "My parents are loaded." 

Skate flipped a gadget out of her pocket and a garage door opened. She pulled in, parked, and jumped out her vehicle. Cindy sat completely still, looking around the garage, which contained at least five vehicles. 

"Come on," Skate said. 

"I'm not quite sure I belong here," Cindy said. 

"It's cool," Skate said. "We all take off our gear the same way, even with a whole lot of cash in the pot." 

Cindy got out the car and walked slowly toward Skate. She finally understood why Skate seemed to have such high priced stuff. 

"Come on," she said putting an arm around her and walking her into the house. Some guy in a penguin suit approached them. 

"Miss may I take your coat," he said. 

"I'm not wearing a coat Davis," Skate said. "This is my new friend, Cindy." 

"Whats up," she said to him. 

He bowed and left. 

"Want some ice cream," Skate said leading her into the kitchen. "What's your favorite flavor?" 

"I don't know," Cindy said looking around. "Man, this pad is tight." 

"It's just a house." 

"There's more money in one room of this house then Cindy's whole hood." 

Cindy sat on a stool in the kitchen and Skate pulled out three boxes of ice cream. Skate grabbed a spoon and dipped it into a strawberry ice cream. Skate tasted it. 

"Umm," she said. "My only weakness. This ice cream." 

Skate smiled as she scooped some more on the spoon and offered it to Cindy. Cindy looked at it and reached for the spoon. Skate pulled it away. 

"Open," she said. 

Cindy opened her mouth and Skate put the spoon in her mouth. The ice cream was sweet, the sweetest she ever tasted. almost as sweet as the enchanting eyes she was looking into. She tasted a little chocolate and a little vanilla the same way. Skate took a long lick on the spoon before throwing it in the sink. 

"So what you want?" Skate asked. 

"How about a little of all three?" 

"Works for me," Skate said. "Good apart, but delicious together." 

She began to prepare two bowls of ice cream and a young boy, about two years Skate's junior, entered the room. 

"Kiersten," he said. "I thought I heard you come home." 

He looked at Cindy. 

"Another one," he said annoyed. 

"This is my friend," she said with a smile. "Cindy." 

"At least mother will be pleased this one is female," the boy said. 

Cindy was ready to snap the boys neck at this point. Who did he think he was? 

"Cindy this is my brother," Skate said. "Christopher." 

"A pleasure," she said with a false smile. 

"Let's go," Skate said handing Cindy her bowl. They left the kitchen and walked toward the back of the house. Skate opened a door that lead down into the basement. She grabbed a remote, flipped on her TV, and fell on the bed. 

Cindy stood their astounded. The basement was immaculate. Their was a closed off area she guessed was the laundry room. But Skate had a queen sized bed in one corner, a huge TV with all types of other electronics. Their were bikes, in various states of repair, hanging from the ceiling on hooks or on the floor in pieces. Along with skateboards and various skates. It was the most awesome room she'd ever scene. 

"Come sit," Skate said patting the bed. 

Cindy sat cautiously on the end of the bed and stared at the TV. They both ate their ice cream and remained quiet. When they were finished, they sat the bowls on her night stand and continued to sit in silence. 

"Are you still afraid of me," Skate said laying across her bed. 

"Of course not," Cindy said. "But I didn't expect all this." 

"My brother thinks I got the worse room in the house. He doesn't understand why I want to live in the basement." 

"I'd gladly live in a basement like this," Cindy said. "It's awesome. But why are you down here instead of upstairs?" 

"I don't know. It makes a better workshop. Upstairs, that's where 'the little princess' lived. Skate's not that princess." Skate smiled at Cindy. "Why don't you relax?" 

"I'm cool," Cindy said. She was actually as closed up as she could be, sitting on the edge of the bed, her arms wrapped tightly around her. 

Skate sat up a little, pulled on her arm a little and Cindy fell back on the bed. Cindy's arms remained crossed across her chest. Still a little uncomfortable. 

"If it ain't me, what are you afraid of?" Skate asked, raising up on her elbow, looking down at Cindy. 

"This is all a little shocking," Cindy replied. "Cindy just thought you were a girl from around the way." 

"I am, just from a place different than you thought," Skate replied. 

"Thank you," Cindy said. 

"For what?" Skate asked. 

"Just being my friend," Cindy said. 

"Is that all we are?" Skate asked leaning forward. Cindy couldn't move, she didn't want to. She met Skate's lips. Her lips were soft, and both sticky and sweet from the ice cream. Her tongue met Skate's. She hardly thought about the action, until Skate begin to trace a path down her neck and lift up her shirt. 

"Don't," Cindy said finally. "I'm sorry," she said turning away. 

"What is it?" Skate asked. 

"It's Diamond," Cindy told her. "I can't do this to her." 

"She's locked up," Skate said a little frustrated. "She probably has another girlfriend herself." 

"Don't say that!" Cindy yelled getting up from the bed. "And you're not even sure that your gay." 

"Are you saying I'm just some confused little girl?" Skate asked. 

"No, I mean." Cindy sighed. "Yes, you don't know what you are. Just like Nikki." 

"Is that the problem, I remind you of Nikki." 

"No, there is no problem. Cindy knows the facts. Cindy knows she love Diamond. She knows this?" Cindy told her. "Just like Cindy knows she like girls and knows. . .she likes. . .you." 

"You do," Skate smiled. "Then I don't understand what the problem is." 

"The problem isn't you. As much as I'm feeling you, I love Diamond." Cindy stated plainly. "I better go," Cindy said moving toward the door. 

"Wait," Skate said. 

Cindy stopped and turned back. 

"We can just be friends," Skate said walking up to her. "Aiight," Skate said putting her hand out. 

"Aiight," Cindy agreed accepting her hand and then pulling her close for a hug. 

"Hey," Skate said. "You want a bike." 

"Never learned to ride," Cindy said. 

"I can teach you," she said unhooking a shiny purple bike from the wall. "You can have it," Skate said. 

"Couldn't accept it," Cindy said looking at the two wheeler. 

"Trust me," Skate said. "It's no big deal. I like fixing up bikes." 

Cindy took the bike. Skate grabbed another and started up the steps. 

"Come on," Skate said. 

"We starting now?" Cindy asked 

"No time like the present." 

They spent the rest of the evening bike training. Cindy left her bike at Skates' house. She was still quite wobbly on the wheels, but they decided to continue the lesson tomorrow. Skate drove her home. When she came in, her parents were sitting on a chair, reading a paper while a radio her dad had repaired played in the background. She heard Skate pull off as her parents looked up at her. Walking back into her house, after having been in Skate's, she felt like she'd walked into a mouse hole. 

"Where have you been?" 

"With Sk--Kiersten," Cindy said. "She's teaching me to ride a bike." 

"Next time," her mother said. "Tell Kiersten to introduce herself." 

"Sure," Cindy shrugged and walked off. 

"Were you two on a. . . date?" her mother asked, swallowing hard before uttering the last word. 

"No," Cindy answered simply. "She's just a friend." 

She knew her mother wanted to know more, but couldn't get it out. Her father remained silent as he always did around her these days.   
  
  


The next day, Snuffy bombarded her with questions about Skate. She told him a thousand times she and Skate were just friends and then he wanted "a hook up". She told him to control his own hook ups. She met up with Skate at the junkyard. They embraced as friends and left together in her car after hanging out for a couple hours. Cindy practiced riding a bit. She was up on the wheels, but when she attempted to gain some speed, she ended up tumbling down a hill and scratching up her leg. Skate helped her into the house and into the living room. 

"You think we should take a break?" Skate asked. 

"Definitely in need of a bit of a rest," Cindy said as she watched Skate bandaged her knee. "I could have done that myself." 

"I'm the trainer," Skate said as she stood in front of Cindy. "I'll care for the injuries." 

They looked at each other for awhile, studying each other. They were trying to ignore the chemistry between them, but they weren't succeeding. Cindy finally broke eye contact. 

"So," Cindy said. "My parents said the next time you come by, you should introduce yourself." 

"They think I'm your girlfriend?" 

"Yeah, well moms does. Dad, I've given up on," Cindy said. 

"You tell her I wasn't your girl," Skate asked. 

"Yeah," Cindy said. "Don't know if I convinced her." 'Don't know if I convinced myself,' Cindy thought, but didn't say. 

Cindy and Skate walked into the living room. 

"I can take you to see your girl," Skate said. "If you ain't doin' nothin' tommorow." 

Cindy smiled. "You'd do that for me." 

"That's what friends do right?" Skate said. "It's no big deal." 

"It's a very big deal," Cindy said. "You've been too sweet to Cindy." 

"I got you drunk and punished the first time we went out together," Skate said. 

"You've made up for it," Cindy told her. 

They heard the door creek. Davis, the butler, greeted two people. Skate's father walked into the living room pushing Skate's mother in a chair. 

"Kiersten," her mother said. "You're actually home." 

"Yes mom," she sighed. 

"And who's your friend," her mother asked. 

"Cindy," Skate replied. 

"Cynthia McEachin," Cindy said standing up and taking a moment to shake hands with each of them. 

"It's nice to see our daughter handing out with a young," Skate's mother paused and looked Cindy over. "Lady." 

Cindy held back reacting and continued to smile politely as Skate's brother entered the room and kindly greeted his mother and father. They left the living room. 

"I know what's up with you two," Skate's brother said turning up his nose at them. "You'll never be anything more than a ruffian my sister." 

Skate stuck her tongue out at him. He huffed and left the room. 

"Do your parents know?" Cindy asked. 

"Know what?" Skate said slightly annoyed. "They don't know anything about me okay." 

"Define anything." 

"The second I stopped being their princess, is the moment I stopped being anything to them." 

Cindy decided not to get into it. 

"I'll drop off the bike tommorow. And them we can roll to see your girl," Skate said changing the subject. "Is that cool." 

"Yeah," Cindy told her. Cindy studied her for a moment, her eyes were fixed on the mirror. She looked into it and saw her parents behind her in the next room, laughing with Skate's brother. It was the first time she had seen Skate unhappy. 

"Yo," Cindy said. "I'd like to check out that musical system down in your room." 

"Let's go," Skate said leading her to the basement door. As they came down the steps, she flipped on some old ballad and flopped down on her bed. The sullen look remained on her face. Cindy laid down in front of her. Touched her cheek gently. Skate looked up at her. Cindy leaned in and kissed her. She didn't really think about it, she just felt like kissing her. There was more to Skate than the smiling girl that was a whiz on wheels. Their was also Kiersten, and seeing a vulnerability in Kiersten had done something to her. 

When the kiss broke, Kiersten looked into her eyes. 

"Why'd you do that?" Kiersten asked. 

"I don't know," Cindy said. "Is it all good?" she said with a smile. 

"Yeah," Kiersten smiled. 

They laid there looking at each other and then feel asleep. By the time Cindy woke up, it was the next day and she was wrapped in Skate's arms. She sighed. She was already in trouble, so she just remained in the warmth of the girl beside her. What would she say to Diamond tommorow, or today, whichever. How could she look at her, the woman who'd opened her eyes, and say she'd fallen for another. She felt Skate stir and look at the clock. 

"Oh shit," Skate said jumping up. "I'm sorry." 

"It's okay," Cindy said. "Friends have sleepovers, right?" 

"Is it all about Diamond, me takin' you to see her and all." 

"No," Cindy told her. Cindy pulled out the picture she always carried. "Maybe it's time to let her go. I guess, Cindy's sort of hiding behind her." 

Skate smiled and they kissed again. Then Skate rolled out of bed. 

"Time to get washed," she announced walking off into her bathroom.   
  
  


It was a long silent drive. Cindy had a couple of issues in front of her. One, explaining to her parents why she had been out all night. And two, telling Diamond there was someone else. Diamond was the first female she had ever kissed and it was so right. Diamond was the first person she'd ever said "I love you too." Diamond had opened her eyes, made her real. And then she'd used Diamond as yet another shield from the world. 

Skate parked and was out the car before Cindy. 

"You comin'?" Skate asked. 

"Yeah," she sighed. 

Skate walked over to her side of the car. 

"You don't have to say a word about me," Skate said leaning down to her. 

"I do," Cindy told her. "I don't want no secrets comin' back to smack me on the ass."   
  
  


As she sat in front of Diamond's window, her legs turned to jelly. She hadn't faced Diamond in awhile. Her hair was corn rolled neatly across her head. She looked washout and tired. Her nails cracked. She wore a gray jumpsuit. And yet, somehow, she was still beautiful. She wasn't the girl in the picture, she was the real Diamond. 

"Damn, I then missed you," Diamond said. 

"Me too," Cindy replied. "I been hurtin' without you boo." 

"Glad to know you missin' Diamond," Diamond said. "But she a little upset to know she hurtin' you at all. i'm surprised some pretty little girl ain't came to snatch you up and make you hers. " 

Cindy sighed her eyes dropping contact with Diamond's. 

"Is there another girl?" Diamond asked. 

"There's a girl. . .," Cindy admitted, "she's a friend." 

"And you want more?" 

"We've kissed." 

"And you want more?" Diamond asked again. 

"I don't know what I want," Cindy admitted. "You my girl, my boo. My heart is all filled up with you, but Kiersten." 

"Kiersten? Is that her name?" 

"Yeah," Cindy said. "The peeps on the street call her Skate. I don't know, there's something there." 

"Want me to tell you what Diamond want?" Diamond asked. 

"What?" 

"Diamond wants you to be happy," Diamond told her. "And if Kiersten can do that while I'm in here, it's all good. But you let her know, I'm coming back for you." 

"Boo," Cindy said. "It ain't gotta be like that. Lookin' at you again, I know there ain't never gonna be another." 

"Baby girl, love is sorta like ice cream. Sometimes, if don't taste the new flavor, you can't be sure your favorite is still your favorite." 

Cindy smiled at the ice cream reference. "I love you," Cindy said with a smile. 

"I know," Diamond said. "But I don't want Diamond to be a reason you don't get a chance to live your life." 

Cindy touched the glass softly, Diamond returned the gesture. 

"You got my heart girl," Diamond said getting up. 

"Same here," Cindy said watching her leave.   
  
  


She and Skate dropped off her car and rode their bikes to Cindy house. It was a long ride, but a much needed one. They sat on the steps playing spades with Herbal and Snuffy for awhile. Then they went inside to talk to Cindy's mother. Cindy's mother was stirring some noodles in a pot when Cindy came in with Skate. 

"Mom," Cindy said. 

Her mother turned to her. 

"Are you going to explain where you were last night?" 

"Sleep over," Cindy said. "With a friend." 

"This friend," her mother asked. 

"Yes mom," Cindy inhaled. "I'd like you to meet Kiersten." 

"Hello Miss McEachin," Skate said presenting her hand. 

"Welcome," her mother said. "It's nice to meet you formerly." 

"There's more," Cindy said. "We're dating. Is that cool?" 

"I suppose it will have to be," her mother said.   
  
  
  


_Dear Cindy,_

_When you left I looked through the window and saw you walk to the car. She's a cute little thing, your new girl. Good choice. But don't you forget to tell her, Diamond will be back._

_Peace,_

_Diamond_   
  
  


the end 

   [1]: http://www.geocities.com/lady_vader21/FanWork.html



	3. the next step

title: the next step  
Author: Empress Vader  
feedback: Lady_Vader21@yahoo.com  
rating: PG-13  
Spoilers: Shorties in Love  
  
  
Summary: The life of the young teenage Cindy, gets more complicated with  
her girlfriend and her family.  
  
Author's note: With Cindy approaching seventeen sex becomes an issue in  
this story alongside continuing issues with family. It's still a PG-13 teen  
age love story  
  
-------------------  
  
Original Cindy thought she was prepared for it, because of Diamond. But the  
truth was, she hadn't really had a chance to deal with a relationship with  
her. Almost as soon as she had accepted her feelings for the girl, Diamond  
had been sent to prison. They'd never really had a chance for the everyday.  
  
And then there was Skate. They met, they'd dated, and now, 4 months later,  
they were a "couple". Skate's parents didn't know, not that they paid much  
attention to thier daughter anyway. Cindy's parents knew and had invited  
Skate to dinner once (well Cindy's mother did). It was then she had to deal  
with the family tension. She creeped her way up to public affection -  
holding hands, hugging, kissing. After Diamond, she thought kissing in  
public wouldn't be a problem, but it had been. The time she kissed Diamond  
she had been caught in the sensation of the momment, but she still found  
herself wondering who was staring at her these days, who was whispering.  
She still wasn't comfortable with it. But that's why she did it, to get  
over it. She was bored with being afraid of who she was, what she felt. So  
she ignored that fear and perhaps appeared more confident than she actually  
was. She wondered if the same was true for Skate, who seemed completely  
comfortable with everything.  
  
  
But thoughts of Diamond never left her. Diamond was still a part of her.  
And what made her feel quite guilty, was that any free weekend Cindy  
wished, Skate would drive her up to see Diamond. The word would light up  
ten times brighter when she saw Diamond. They were bonded somewhere deep  
down inside. But she loved being with Skate. She was warm and funny. And  
she had a magnetic personaltiy that grabbed you and pulled you in. And she  
was also ready for the next step and Cindy wasn't.  
  
Then there was Blaze. Skate's ex-boyfriend. Cindy sat perched on a bench in  
the junkyard watching them exchange playful hits. Then she jumped on his  
back and he walked up to Cindy. Blaze was a well put together 18 year old  
guy, dark-chocolate skin, and curly hair that he sometimes braided. Skate  
claimed she and Blaze were only friends, but but they seemed way too  
friendly for Cindy's taste sometimes. Knowing Skate switch hit only made  
the threat of Blaze all to difficult to deal with. In fact, it made her  
paranoid. She tried to ignore it, push it aside. But the worry never quite  
went away.  
  
Blaze walked up to Cindy with Skate on his back. As he dropped her to the  
ground, he and Cindy shared "the look".  
  
"What's up Cindy?" Blaze said.  
  
"What's up," Cindy said placing a protective arm around Skate.  
  
"Yawl comin' to my party right?" asked Blaze.  
  
"Cindy don't know." Cindy said. "She thinks we got plans."  
  
"Stop frontin' girl," Skate told her. "We have nothing better to do. We'll  
be there."  
  
Blaze smiled and walked away.  
  
"You ready to go now?" Cindy asked annoyed as she walked off and grabbed  
her bike.  
  
"Sure," Skate said walking behind her and grabbing her own wheels.  
  
They mounted thier bikes and left the junkyard hangout together.  
  
"Why you always trippin' about Blaze?" Skate asked as they rode.  
  
"Because Blaze always got his hands on my girl and she seems to like it."  
  
"Gurl, Every weekend, what am I doing?" Skate said. "Taking you down to the  
jail to see your girl Diamond," she continued. "Blaze and I are way over as  
lovers, but we're still friends."  
  
"Wait, Did you say lovers?"  
  
"He was my boyfriend, of course I fucked him. Why are you surprised?"  
  
Cindy was silent. She finally shrugged.  
  
"Ahh, it's all become clear. The reason why all we ever do is kiss."  
  
"I don't want to talk about this," Cindy said flushed with embarassment.  
She increased speed on her bike and sped toward home.  
  
Skate matched her speed, but kept the conversation on pause. They reached  
her house and went inside. Cindy made some sandwitches. They were sitting  
at the table when Skate started again.  
  
"Can I ask you something? How far have you gone with a girl?"  
  
Cindy remained silent, akwardly staring at her sandwitch as she picked the  
crust of the bread off in specks.  
  
"Come on," Skate said. "I'll spill about my first time and you can tell me  
about yours."  
  
"Then it will be a one sided conversation," Cindy mumbled.  
  
Skate smiled. "Really, never? That's so cute."  
  
"Cute?" Cindy replied annoyed.  
  
"So you've never been with a girl or a guy?"  
  
"Never, okay, just drop it."  
  
"Have you played alone?"  
  
"KIERSTEN!!"  
  
"Sorry," Skate said. Her birth name was rarely spoken by anyone who wasn't  
her family. "I didn't realize you were so inexperienced."  
  
"Well, I am. The only girl, the only person, I've ever even been nude  
around, outside of mom and dad in the diaper years, is Josie when we were  
little and use to take baths together."  
  
Skate laughed.  
  
"Do you find something funny?" Cindy asked.  
  
"What about Man?" Skate asked between giggles.  
  
"You better keep on laughing," Cindy said. "Because that's got to be a  
joke."  
  
"I'm sorry baby," Skate said getting up to wrap her arms around her. "I'm  
getting you upset.  
  
Cindy smiled as she reached up to touch the warm arms around her. But she  
noticed the issue of sex had come up alot more recently.  
  
"You know I love you," Skate said kissing her cheek.  
  
As if fate decided make the slightly improved comfort level worse, her dad  
stepped into the room. Knowing her dad still didn't approve of her  
relationship, Skate backed off and sat back in her chair.  
  
"Hi dad," Cindy said breaking the akward silence.  
  
"Hello Cindy," he said quickly and left the room as fast as possible.  
  
"I forgot how he reacts to me?" Skate said. "Forgot I have the plague where  
he's concerned.  
  
"It's not you," Cindy said sadly. "It's me. You better go. See you later  
boo."  
  
"See you later," Skate said giving her a quick peck on the lips.  
  
Skate walked toward the door and then turned back.  
  
"Want me to pick you up after school tommorow."  
  
"Sure"  
  
Skate smiled, blew her and kiss and left the house. Cindy threw out what  
hadn't been eaten, cleaned the table, and walked into the living room. Her  
father was reading the paper. She sat down beside him, waiting for him to  
say something. Seeing this wasn't happening, she decided to speak.  
  
"It's not a disease Dad," Cindy said to him.  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about," he said.  
  
"My girlfriend. I like girls dad. Why you can't just accept your daughter  
is different?"  
  
Her father put down the paper and looked her in the eye.  
  
"I know there a lot of new-aged thinkers or whatever they are that would  
like to think what your doing is okay, but not your father." The anger was  
blazing in his eyes now. "I WILL NOT accept it. It's against God and nature  
and I can only pray you'll get over it."  
  
Cindy didn't know how to reply to that. Her hormones often caused her to  
snap back in anger, especially in situations like this. But being called  
un-godly struck something deeper. And tears flowed instead of rage. She ran  
to her room and fell on her bed in tears. She hated her damn teenage  
hormones.  
  
  
  
  
Her father never came to console her. She cried herself to sleep. She  
dreamed of the warmth she once felt with him. She'd ridden on his shoulders  
through a crowd of people. She'd been shivering in the cold and he picked  
her up and wrapped her in his coat. Sleeping on his lap after a nightmare.  
Sitting on his lap as they sang gospels in her grandfather's church, her  
father's father.  
  
As she awoke, she began to wonder if her Grandfather knew and how the  
religious man would feel about a gay granddaughter. She wondered if she  
could ever pretend she wasn't who she was. She noticed her mother sitting  
at the foot of the bed as she sat up.  
  
"Hey baby girl," her mother said as she looked at her daughter.  
  
"Hey mom," Cindy said sitting up completely.  
  
"Your father told me what happened. I don't think you should kiss your  
girfriend around him."  
  
"It was on the cheek for god sake. He kissed me a million times and no one  
thought it was incest."  
  
"Still," her mother said. "He's not ready to accept it. His father is a  
minister, what you are goes against everything he was raised to believe."  
  
"You make it sound like I'm some kind of monster," Cindy said.  
  
"You're not baby," her mother said putting a gentle hand on her face.  
"You're my daughter. I was shocked at first, too. I mean who is prepared  
for it. But Lord help me, I actually like Skate. And you know what I like  
the most about her?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"The way she makes you smile."  
  
The statement made Cindy smile and she walked up to her mother and threw  
her arms around her.  
  
"Thank you mom," Cindy said. "For still loving me."  
  
"Your dad still loves you too sweetie," her mom said patting her head. "He  
just has to learn like I did. It isn't about what we want for you, it's  
about what you want for you, what makes you happy. And I want you to know  
if it makes you happy, I'll be happy for you."  
  
"Why can't dad accept me?" Cindy asked.  
  
"He'll come around, he loves you, you're his daughter."  
  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
  
As planned, Skate picked her up the next day. As they drove to Skate's  
house, Cindy told her about the incident with her father. Skate said she'd  
be happier if she stopped worrying about what her parents think about her  
life. She knew Skate's parents were no more than shadows, ghost, in her  
life that provided her livelyhood. Perhaps one day it would be that way  
with her father?  
  
When they got to her house, she popped in a movie Cindy had never seen  
before called "X-men". She ate popcorn, but Skate wasn't to fond of snacks  
that weren't sweet so she had a fruit shapped lollypop in her mouth. They  
talked about how cool it would be to have some of the mutants powers. She  
wondered if anything like that ever really happened, in real life or  
otherwise. If mutants really exsisted, some looking just like herself and  
Skate and such, others with physical deformities or similarities to  
Animals. And if so, was the descrimination they felt as strong as the  
descriminations against Blacks, gays, and women that had happened over the  
years. She fell into all three catergories. After what happened with her  
father, she felt a kindship to them. She suppose their were always reason  
people had for hating others, but they were never good reasons.  
  
She thought of the things that could have been accomplished if the  
"ordinary" (if anyone was ordinary) people in the movie had embraced the  
mutants. She wondered what they could have contributed to making the world  
a better place. Even with out mutations, how many great minds had been lost  
to the descrimination of the time. She loved her father and she realized  
with his prejudice he could have been horrible to her and put her out, beat  
her, or worse. He had to love her somewhere down deep, but when she looked  
at the close minded Senator Kelly all she saw was her father.  
  
Skate's money or her families money had allowed her to be spoiled a bit.  
Skate just gave her things. She sometimes ate at the house just because the  
food was delicious, she didn't mind sitting under the stares of the family.  
She knew if they knew the truth about Skate's realtionship with her it  
would be much worse, so at some point she decided it was better if they  
didn't know. Though sometimes she wasn't sure that Skate's brother didn't  
know. Skate didn't seem to care about the imported food and high priced  
electronics, but Cindy wondered if Skate would miss them when she moved  
out. She always said she would run away, but she never did. Even with the  
bad parental relationship, she didn't understand why Skate would want to  
escape this fantasy neighborhood frozen in time, seemingly unaffected by  
the pulse.  
  
As the credits rolled, the two girls got up and walked toward the kitchen  
to dump the kernels from the popcorn bowl. Cindy stopped at the steps and  
looked up them. She had never been up to the second floor where all the  
family bedrooms lay. It was like Skate was scared of the second floor, even  
though her old bedroom was up there. She called it "the princesses" room  
and she wasn't her anymore. Her brother Christopher seem to live up there,  
only appearing to annoy his sister. He had a private tutor with his sister  
for many years. Skate had decided she wanted to go to school and got her  
wish. Her parents weren't fond of public education and put her in a private  
institution.  
  
Cindy dangled around the stairs and took a step up. Skate was still in the  
kitchen, she took another. The unfamiliar and mysterious realm known as  
"upstairs" was calling to her.  
  
"Where are you going?" Skate said coming out the kitchen.  
  
"I want to see your room," Cindy replied. "What's the big deal?"  
  
"My rooms downstairs alright."  
  
"I want to see your old room," Cindy said. "I haven't hid anything from  
you. You've been through my whole house."  
  
"Your whole house is one floor and a handful of rooms!" she yelled.  
  
Cindy looked embarassed.  
  
"Sorry," she said coming and wrapping her arms around her.  
  
At that point, Christopher appeared. He tended to do that, appear like some  
phantom.  
  
"Kiersten thinks she's too good for us," Christopher said as Skate  
detangled herself from Cindy. "She considers the dregs like you to be the  
saints of our time, so she can't possibly venture in to the evil upstairs  
where the well-off live. No, she'd rather be below the butler. Then she can  
feel good about herself. "  
  
"Shut the fuck up," Skate said.  
  
"My dear sister, such profantity is truly unnecessary, I believe."  
Christopher smiled maliciously. "But maybe it's something different  
altogether that keeps you away. Memories of a certain Mandingo warrior and  
your animal urges letting go."  
  
"Bastard," Skate said leaping on her brother. She swung a fist at his face  
as he landed on the ground. Cindy was shocked at how quickly the fist came,  
beating the face of her borther. When Cindy got over the shock, she grabbed  
Skate and pulled her off her brother. His nose was possibly broken and he  
had a black eye. He groaned, but didn't lift himself off the floor. Skate  
was still in a rage as Cindy held her.  
  
"Crazy Bitch," Christopher said as Davis the butler came in the room and  
panicked.  
  
"Young Master--" Davis began, but didn't finish the sentence. "Oh, my god."  
  
He helped the teenager up and walked him into the kitchen.  
  
"We better disappear," Skate said.  
  
Cindy nodded and they left in her car.  
  
  
  
  
Over A year ago the bus station had been Cindy's haven, her place to go to  
think. But a lot had changed in a year, she had changed in a year, even if  
the place hadn't. She'd grown up playing there with Josie and she'd  
discovered her true self there when she kissed Diamond. It all seemed so  
long ago now, but it seemed like the right place to go to talk or not talk,  
whichever was needed.  
  
And Skate didn't seemed to want to talk. As they settled themselves in one  
of the old busses, Cindy talked. She told Skate about Josie. About how they  
had planned thier double weddings in this bus station. She explained that  
had been long before she'd ever even had a boyfriend, let alone a  
girlfriend. She decided to talk about Diamond, since in didn't seem to  
bother Skate. She told her how she had refused Diamond's advances at first,  
denied the feelings inside herself for Nicole. It was nothing Skate hadn't  
heard before, but Cindy spoke in more detail.  
  
She wanted to ask her about the incident with her brother, but she wouldn't  
pry. If Skate wanted to talk, she'd talk.  
  
"Why'd you bring me here?" Skate asked after awhile.  
  
She was resting against Cindy's warm chest as she asked it.  
  
"I don't know," Cindy said. "This was a part of me, a part of my childhood.  
I just wanted to share it."  
  
"Are you still in love with her?" Skate asked, seeming jealouse to Cindy  
for the first time.  
  
"Who?" Cindy asked, hoping she wasn't talking about Diamond. She didn't  
know how to answer that.  
  
"Diamond," Skate stated clearly.  
  
"Of course not," Cindy sort of mumbled. "I mean I thought I was, but--"  
  
"You want me to be honest about Blaze," Skate said holding the other girls  
hand, playing with Cindy's fingers.  
  
"What about him?" Cindy asked with her heartbeat increasing in fear.  
  
He isn't just my ex-boyfriend, he was my first boyfriend, my first  
everything, my first love," she said sadly. "And my first time."  
  
Cindy didn't know if she wanted to hear anymore. Skate read this on her  
face.  
  
"I'm just saying. I understand the Diamond thing, because I've been there.  
Been to that place where you're so in love, nothing can touch you, nothing  
can compete. Blaze threw color in my black and white world. I know what  
it's like to feel you begin and end with another person."  
  
"You had that with Blaze?"  
  
"I had that with Elijah."  
  
"Elijah?"  
  
"Elijah is Blaze, Blaze is Elijah. But Skate didn't meet Blaze, Kiersten  
met Elijah. Kiersten didn't really think for herself. Kiersten wasn't  
alive, she just exsisted as an extension of her parents. Elijah made  
Kiersten real. Elijah made Skate," Skate smiled, but thier was still a hint  
of sadness in her eyes. "I was lost until I met him, but then I got lost in  
him. Instead of opening up myself to the world beyond home, I just stayed  
beside him, let him be everything. After while he said I was to clingy. I  
got mad, met Camille, she and I had some fun and then broke up. Became  
friends with Blaze again, slept together, but decided not to get together.  
It's a vicious cycle with us."  
  
"Diamond and I never had time for all that."  
  
Skate sat up to look at her. "Maybe that's the problem with us, you were  
cheated out of it. Maybe that's why you're holding back, because you're  
still on that first love high. You haven't had the lows."  
  
Cindy sighed. "I'm not holding back, I'm just." She reached out, brushed  
away a strand of Skates hair. She traced a finger along the side of her  
face. "You know I'm totally into you. I--"  
  
"I know, but --"  
  
Cindy leaned in and cut her off with a short delicate kiss.  
  
"You still don't think of me, like you think of her," Skate said to Cindy.  
  
"But I do love you," Cindy said.  
  
"Really?" Skate asked.  
  
"Really," Cindy replied. "You make me happy."  
  
They kissed again. Softly, but more intense then before. Skate deepened the  
kiss and thier hands began to travel all over each other. There was a  
little bit of akwardness in there movements, but they enjoyed the touch of  
one another. Skate was beautiful. She was white, but no one really sweated  
tthe black/white thing much, most had more important concerns in thier own  
lives. Skate took good care of her skin, it was one of the first things  
Cindy notice. She was always amazed by how soft Skate was. Skate didn't  
care much for make-up, but she used this really expensive lotion daily. Her  
green eyes had always been enchanting, because Cindy had never met anyone  
with green eyes, white or otherwise. Skate had a sweet tooth, so she always  
seemed to taste sweet. And she smelled like baby powder, which Cindy found  
more appealing than most perfumes. There were a lot of things that made her  
like this girl, but a shadow still hung over the momment.  
  
Skate kissed Cindy's chin and then her neck. Then Skate began to unbotton  
Cindy's shirt. Then something happened inside her, she was flushed with  
this sudden fear.  
  
"I can't," she suddenly said moving the other girl's hands away.  
  
"Why?" Skate asked.  
  
"It isn't about Diamond," Cindy stated. She sighed as she attempted to find  
the words for her explanation. "From what I hear, from what I can tell,  
guys are pretty happy if they can stick thier thing in you and ejaculate."  
She saw Skate holding in a laugh and Cindy tried not to blush. She was  
uncomfortable talking about her problem, but she needed to explain. "But I  
wouldn't . . . I don't know . . . what to do to . . .make it good, for  
you."  
  
Skate held in a laugh threatening to burst through her face. Holding on to  
a straight face, she said, "I felt the same way, with Camille. It's okay,  
don't think about the mechanics, just let me lead."  
  
Skate reached for her, but she jumped up and walked away.  
  
"I'm just," Cindy said nevervously. "All wound up now. I can't."  
  
"It's alright," Skate said.  
  
"Shit, I'm such a loser." Cindy cursed to herself. "Let's get out of here  
before I embarass myself more."  
  
"Don't be embarrassed," Skate said as she got up, pulled her close for a  
hug and kissed her cheek.  
  
They took hands and walked out the bus station.  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
That night they went to Blaze's party. She wished Blaze's party could have  
been avoided. Skate had finally talked about her past with Blaze, but it  
didn't make watching them any easier. Watching the two bodies on the dance  
floor so familiar with each other unnerved her. Why couldn't she just let  
go and be with Skate? Was it Diamond? Despite all her explaining away, she  
wasn't sure Diamond had nothing to do with her reluctance. Was there  
something wrong with her? Would she lose Skate?  
  
She didn't want to lose Skate, for a thousand reasons. She hadn't had a  
female friend since Josie left and they'd lost contact. Her family wasn't  
comfortable with her anymore. The boys she hung out with were idiots on so  
many matters. Not many girls seemed to be very comfortable with her, she  
guessed they all thought she wanted to sleep with them (on some level, they  
were as stupid as the boys). But these were reasons to keep her as a  
friend, not a girlfriend. Searching deeper she knew she loved Skate's  
touch, her smell, her cool stuff -- but that was so wrong. Wrong, but true.  
But if Skate lost all her money tommorow, she wouldn't let her go.  
  
Diamond was also a shadow over them, she couldn't deny it. Unlike Skate,  
her "first" had been broken. Diamond was her first love, but Skate was her  
first real girlfriend. Her romance with Diamond happened and was over in  
the a single breath. She'd hardly had time to think about what she was  
doing, she just felt with Diamond. In less than two weeks, Diamond had made  
her fell alive and then she was gone. Skate had introduced her to going  
out, dating, doing couple things. skate had sat at her mother's dinner  
table, Skate and she had had water fights while washing her car, shared  
long lazy afternoons hanging out or just walking. Her first were split  
between these two people.  
  
Cindy looked back at the dance floor. Blaze and Skate, no Elijah and  
Kiersten, did they belong together? Would they be together in the end? Was  
Cindy just another pit stop on the road back to Elijah?  
  
The song they were dancing to ended and a slow song replaced it. Skate  
abandoned her ex on the floor and came and grabbed her girlfriend. They  
went out on the dance floor and Skate threw her arms around her. They moved  
easily to the tune as they looked at each other. They were comfortable with  
each other, with these momments now. And most, if not all, of the people at  
the party knew about the relationship, so thier was no need to look for  
gawking eyes.  
  
"I don't like seeing you unhappy," Skate said. "Smile."  
  
Cindy hadn't realized she looked unhappy, but looking into Skate's eyes she  
couldn't stay that way. She smiled upon comand. When she and Skate were  
close like this, it felt good, it felt right, and doubt melted away.  
  
  
  
A few hours later Cindy and skate escaped to the porch, They sat under the  
stars, making out as the had a thousand times before. Then without waring,  
Cindy Stopped. Skate looked confused.  
  
"What's wrong?" Skate asked  
  
"Skate, if you ever want more -- tell me," Cindy stated sadly, but  
sincerly.  
  
"More meaning?"  
  
"More meaning Blaze...Elijah...whatever."  
  
"What about him is more?" Skate asked her.  
  
"He can give you what you want without wiggin' out like I do."  
  
"You can't mean sex," Skate said.  
  
"In a way," Cindy replied. "I see the way you two are, Cindy isn't blind.  
You act like you want to be back together with him."  
  
"Are you trying to break up with me?" Skate asked.  
  
"No," Cindy said. "But Blaze knows Kiersten. Blaze is the reason you beat  
up your own brother. What's that all about?"  
  
Skate sighed. She took Cindy's hand.  
  
"Let's go," Skate said. "I have something to show you."  
  
The two girls got up and walked up to Skate's car. They got in and drove  
away.  
  
  
------  
  
Skate was silent during the drive back to her house. Cindy sat in silence  
trying to decide if she had upset Skate to much, asked to many questions.  
When they arrived, the silence continued. She followed Skate through the  
doors of the quiet house. Then to her surprise, Skate started up the  
staircase to the second floor. They never went up there. Cindy walked up  
the steps behind her without questions.  
  
It was late, no one was awake, not even the butler. She wondered what  
Skate's parents had thought when they saw there injured son. What would  
they say if they woke up and saw Cindy creeping around there house, some  
poor little Negro child that they barely trusted. Even though her parents  
thought the two girls were just friends, she knew they didn't like the  
friendship. And if Christopher ever revealed the truth of thier  
relationship, she wasn't sure how Skate's parents would react.  
  
Skate opened a door and Cindy waited to find some disaster area. Instead,  
she saw a pink room, a little girls room. Nothing was in disarray,  
everything in it's place.  
  
"This is the space of Princess Kiersten," Skate said walking in the room.  
Cindy followed.  
  
It was like something out of the movies. Porceline dolls and a teddy bear  
lay neatly on the fluffy pink sheets. The pink furniture matched the  
sheets. There was a little white table with a tea set. A doll sat at one of  
the tiny chairs to the table. There was a doll house with a barbie doll  
size family that matched her own. It was nothing like the bike shop/living  
space Skate had created below the family, in the basement.  
  
"They've fixed the place up," Skate said. "I kind of hoped they respected  
me enough not to touch it."  
  
Cindy's eyes floated over the room again and back to Kiersten. "What do you  
have against this room? Kill the pink ensemble, it isn't really you, and  
make it yours."  
  
"This is where I made love to him the first time," she told Cindy. Skate  
sat on the bed and picked up a teddy bear. She hugged it tight. "This is  
where I got caught making love to him."  
  
"Him being Elijah?"  
  
"Who Else?" Skate asked.  
  
She felt stupid for asking. Of course "him" was "Elijah".  
  
"I met him in a bike shop. The bus from school broke down outside of it. He  
came out the store, kind of dirty. Maybe that's why he facinated me. Some  
girl made some dumb comment, I looked at him and couldn't stop. By the time  
the replacement bus came, I was facinated by him. As we pulled off, I saw  
him with his friends. I didn't have friends then. They seemed so free, I  
envied them." Skate sighed. "Perhaps I was just the stereotypical rich  
white girl looking for a trip on the wild side."  
  
"I don't think so," Cindy said.  
  
"You ever feel trapped?" Skate asked.  
  
"All the time," Cindy replied.  
  
"I mean trapped in the cycle of the everyday. Like week after week it's the  
same old thing and you can't escape it. Like you're living a false life and  
you can't get out of it."  
  
Cindy slid on the bed beside her. "I guess that's what the days before  
Diamond were like. It was like the momment Cindy realized Diamond's words  
were true, I had the keys to Cindy's real life."  
  
"Kinda the same thing here," Skate said as she laid back on the bed. Cindy  
laid beside her. There heads close together. "I know it proably wasn't half  
as hard as comin' out like you did."  
  
"We all got our own struggles," Cindy said.  
  
Skate turned toward her and smiled. "You want to hear all this."  
  
"Yeah, go on."  
  
"I had to see him again after that. So I went back down there on my bike.  
It was pink too, I painted it black later just to spite my parents. Anyway,  
we met. One thing led to another, one moment led to the next. Days turned  
into months. We became girlfriend and boyfriend. My parents hated him,  
fought against us. Nothing stopped me, I snuck out to see him. Invited him  
to dinner to force my parents to accept him. They kept trying to make me  
there little baby princess again. I couldn't be that anymore."  
  
"Because you were free."  
  
"Yeah," Skate said. "Blaze taught me how to put bikes together from old  
parts. He was always doing it for the neighborhood kids, not many parents  
could afford bikes for playing. We came up with the idea for the junkyard  
together. That's when I stopped being home a lot more. I had friends Cindy,  
for the first time in my life. I had a new name, I had a new life. When I  
told my parents I loved him, that was it. They all but locked me in this  
room, made sure I came home after school by using Davis, kept me home any  
way they could. I wrote Blaze everyday. I guess maybe it was revenge when I  
bought him to my house, to this room, and made love to him. Christopher  
snitched on me, they caught me in the act I guess you could say. And that  
was the last time I was in this room, because that was moment my parents  
let me go. I'm not princess Kiersten, I can't sleep in her room." She  
pointed the the east wall which had several shelves. "That's the ice  
princess."  
  
Cindy looked at the trophies and pictures on the shelves. She slid out of  
the bed to take a closer look at the girl in ice skates. Adorable, but a  
light was missing in her green eyes.  
  
"She's a cute little thing," Cindy said.  
  
Skate stood up behind her. "Then why don't you want to make love to her?"  
  
"You've been told," Cindy said to her. "Cindy's just scared...of you."  
  
"Don't be," Skate said leaning in and kissing her.  
  
Cindy was unresponsive.  
  
"Is that all you think about," Cindy said. "Can't we have a momment without  
adding that to it?" Cindy walked to the the other side of the room, turning  
her back to Skate.  
  
"Yes, I do think about being close to you a lot. Why aren't you?" Skate  
fell back on the bed.  
  
'Tell her Diamond will be back,' Cindy heard in her head. It was the voice  
of Diamond. She had said it months ago as they looked at each other through  
the glass divider. She was still holding onto Diamond somewhere in her  
heart. That wasn't fair to Skate, it wasn't fair at all.  
  
Cindy walked up to the bed and took off her shirt. She'd decided to dive in  
and stop running scared. She looked down at Skate who's eyes had widened  
upon seein her girlfriend bra clad in front of her.  
  
"Sometimes the best thing to do is jump in and get it over with," Cindy  
said.  
  
"Don't make it sound like a chore," Skate said standing in front of her  
again.  
  
Cindy initiated the kiss this time. She slowly began to unbutton Skate's  
top.  
  
"Are you sure this is what you want?" Skate asked between kisses.  
  
"Are you afriad now?" Cindy asked her.  
  
They smiled at each other and shared a deep kiss. She finally finished the  
path of buttons and removed the other girl's shirt. She traced a path of  
butterfly kisses down her chest, over her bra clad breast, down to her  
belly button. Cindy lossened the other girls pants. She knew if she stopped  
herself it would be over.  
  
But like some bad joke, the door chose to open at that momment. It was like  
some horrible practical joke. They were standing there. And Cindy was on  
her knees in front of thier half naked daughter who's lose pants nearly  
slid off on thier own.  
  
  
For a momment after the door opened the world was in slow motion, or frozen  
in time. Skate's shocked father stood with Davis and Christopher who's nose  
was bandaged. Skate's brother smiled maliciously. Then the yell came.  
  
"What the hell is going on?" her father said.  
  
Cindy scrambled for her top. Skate didn't even bother. She just fasened her  
pants and got into a screaming match with her angry father. cindy barely  
caught what they said as she escaped throught the door. One thing she did  
catch was: "How long has this been going on" and "Do you mean how long has  
Cindy been my girlfriend. Or how long your little princess has been fucking  
girls." She didn't even want to know where the argument went after that.  
  
Skate was angry, her father was angry, and Cindy had no idea what would be  
brought to her door tommorow.  
  
  
  
  
Cindy thought about telling her mom what had gone on when she got home.  
Thought about it and forgot about it. Her mother may have excepted her, but  
she doubted she wanted to hear what her daughter had almost done. Cindy  
crawled into her bed and thought about what she had almost done. She had  
almost went all the way with a girl and she was okay with that.  
  
But she wasn't okay with Skate's parents not hearing her side of things,  
with not knowing what Skate was going through.  
  
*************  
  
She didn't know when she fell asleep, but when she woke up the sun was  
beaming through the window hurting her eyes. She managed to roll out of bed  
wondering if she should try and contact Skate. She rolled out of bed and  
stubbled into the kitchen.  
  
And there she was. Skate was sitting at the table reciving morning mush  
from Cindy's mother. Skate saw her and stood up. They smiled at each other  
and Cindy ran and threw her arms around her.  
  
"I thought your dad killed you," Cindy said.  
  
Cindy suddenly noticed the stern stare from her mother. She and Skate broke  
contact.  
  
"What are you doing?" her mother asked.  
  
"Hugging Skate," Cindy replied.  
  
"I mean last night. You know better than to be in some girl's room."  
  
Cindy looked at Skate. Skate shrugged.  
  
"I got kicked out," Skate said.  
  
"Do you have a place to stay?" Cindy asked.  
  
"Yeah, I'm staying with Blaze."  
  
There was no mistaking the upset look that crossed Cindy's face.  
  
"Eat now, talk later," Cindy's mother said as the two girls sat down  
together.  
  
She was glad her mom wasn't freaking out. She supposed most of it was  
compensation for the fact dear old dad had given her the cold shoulder.  
Cindy's mother was doing her best to treat the situation with a civil  
solution. Skate's parents proably hadn't done the same. It still bothered  
her that she and Skate had never really given them a chance to. They never  
came to Skate's parents and told them what was going on.  
  
It was just the way Skate opperated though. She never bother to explain any  
of her relationships to them. They assumbed guys that were just friends  
were more. Never batted an eye at Camille, her first girlfriend. Or Janice,  
whom she says she 'fooled around with once'. Her parents didn't know her,  
but she had given up on them. Cindy had tried and at the very least, the  
reward had been her mother.  
  
  
They made there way into the living room after breakfast. One thing  
remained that bothered her, the fact that Skate was living with Blaze.  
Skate also said she'd left school. She understood why Skate needed a job  
more than school now, but she didn't like it in the least.  
  
"I understand your in a tight spot right now, but why Blaze?" Cindy asked  
Skate.  
  
"I trust Blaze," Skate replied.  
  
"He's your ex-boyfriend," Cindy argued.  
  
"And he's my current friend," Skate told her. "Please don't trip. You can  
be so immature sometimes."  
  
"What?" Cindy yelled. It was the first time she'd ever felt insulted by  
Skate. "I'm imature?"  
  
"I said you ACT immature sometimes," Skate said.  
  
"Please tell me me what's immature about not wanting my girlfriend and her  
ex-lover living together."  
  
"I got to live somewhere."  
  
"And Blaze is your only friend in the whole world?"  
  
"I got kicked out for you, isn't that enough for you to believe I'm not  
with Blaze like that?"  
  
"Skate, I know you. You wanted out. Don't pretend it's about me."  
  
"Maybe I did," Skate said. "Maybe I'll catch you later."  
  
Skate stuck her hands in her pocket and left Cindy's house. Frustrated,  
Cindy threw herself on the couch. Her mother came in the room.  
  
"You want to talk?" her mother asked.  
  
"No," Cindy said. "I can deal with it."  
  
"Okay," her mother said. "I don't care where Skate's living. You know you  
were wrong right."  
  
"Right," Cindy said.  
  
Then her mother left her alone.  
  
  
Cindy grabbed her bike later on and went by the junkyard. Blaze worked in a  
bike shop nearby. She went there to get some touchup paint. Her bike had a  
few scratches. She went to the front counter and was surprised to find a  
familiar pair of green eyes. then again, where else would she work?  
  
"Skate," Cindy said. "You work here?"  
It was such a dumb question.  
  
"Yeah," Skate said.  
  
"Found that tool you needed," Blaze said coming out. He saw Cindy standing  
there. "What's up?"  
  
"Nothin' much," Cindy said. "Thanks for hookin' her up."  
  
"I'd never leave my girl hangin'," Blaze replied. Then he made his exit.  
  
Cindy rolled her eyes.  
  
Cindy and Skate started to speak at the same time, then stopped.  
  
"We fucked up our little lives," Skat began. "Didn't we?"  
  
Cindy shrugged. "Cindy will admit this. Maybe sometimes she is a little  
immature." She sighed. "You got to know though, I've never had a  
relationship before. Diamond came, Diamond went."  
  
"I haven't exactly been Miss Maturity myself," Skate said. "I wanted my  
parents to throw me out, I wanted to be able to blame them. But ain't no  
point in assigning Blame. I haven't really found Skate, Kiersten, whatever.  
I think we need some time apart."  
  
"We're breaking up?" Cindy said, a slight panick in her voice.  
  
"I still want to be friends," Skate said putting out her hand.  
  
Cindy nodded and they shook hands. Somehow, cindy held in the tears as she  
walked out the bike shop. She couldn't belive it was over, just like that.  
But that was how Skate made decisions. She took a long bus ride to the bus  
station and she cried.  
  
By the time she made her way back home she was just ready to crawl under  
the sheets for the remainder of the day. But as she rode up to the house,  
she saw that someone was sitting on her steps, Skate? As she got closer,  
she saw that it couldn't be Skate.IT was...  
  
Her bike dropped beneath her as she walked up to her. Her movements were  
almost Zombie like, but her insides were on fire. It was Diamond, Diamond  
was here, in the flesh. Diamond stepped up to her and touched her cheek.  
  
"I'm out boo," she said and Cindy looked up into her eyes. "I know you with  
that other girl, but Diamond had to see you. I know I got to--"  
  
"Shut up," Cindy said.  
  
She pulled Diamond close. They kissed long and hard. She felt like she was  
connected to Diamond somewhere deep inside. It didn't matter that she had  
been gone, only that she was here now.  
  
"My girl then got a little tiger in her, huh."  
  
Cindy smile, but didn't answer.  
  
"So I guessed you missed me then."  
  
"I love you Diamond," Cindy said. "I always have."  
  
"Mee too, baby girl," Diamond said. "I'm headin' back to the crib where I'm  
crashin'. Want to come?"  
  
"Yeah," Cindy answered quickly.  
  
They took hands and walked away together. It was the first of many times  
that Cindy would find herself right back where she began -- with Diamond.  
  
  
THE END 


	4. Some people never change

Title: Some People Never Change   
Author: Empress Vader 

Summary: Dragged away to visit her grandfather one summer, Cindy finds herself going head to head with her father which leads Cindy to a decision about her future with her parents. 

a/n: since this is story number 4, I felt like the romantic relationships could be packed away for a momment to expand on the relationship between Cindy and her father, even if it ends up where it does.   


Cindy leaned back in the borrowed car turning the sector pass in her hand, eyeing the back of her father's head in the hope that just her look could drill through it and take apart whatever had gone haywire in thier. She'd done everything to get her family to accept Diamond, but even her mother wasn't to fond of Diamond. Still, her mother dealt with it despite mentioning that "nice little Skate girl" at every opportunity. She wanted to say, 'I found out that nice skate girl was cheatin' on me the whole time and is now pregnant with her boyfriend's baby, but there was enough tension at home. 

The break in thier friendship hadn't been immediate. After the break up with Skate and the make up with Diamond (And becoming a full woman with Diamond, one secret she had kept from her mother), she and Skate were still friends. Then she started showing. At first Cindy just thought she was putting on a little weight, then Herbal told her what was really going on and that she should do the math. So for the last 6 months, they hadn't spoken. And she was happy with Diamond, who had promised to go completly legit just for her. She'd been hustling and bustling with a nickle and dime 9 to 5 just because she loved her. It didn't really impress either of her parents. 

Then again, if she was dating the first female, black, lesbian, president of the United States, Dad still wouldn't be happy. He'd still ask her to date some bag boy he dug up simply because of the equipment under his belt. If she was the first female, black, lesbian, president, he'd still ask her why she couldn't find a good man. Her father was stupid. She'd tried to be sypathetic, but it wasn't working. Her father was stupid. She was almost 17 and he still treated her like a baby. 

And now he'd taken her away from home in the middle of the summer, away from the woman she loved, to visit dear old Grandpa. If she was five, she would have been thrilled. a train ride, a rental car, the east coast. She'd seen her grandfather twice in her life. She had a long ago somewhat broken memory of a time when she was two going on three and she sang in her grandfather's church wearing a white dress looking so innocent. And there was one other time when she was 10 or something like that and came down for a visit. She actually loved her Grandfather's church. It was small and everyone seemed to look up to her grandfather. Her grandmother had passed away long before she was born. 

Her Grandfather was a warm man in her memory, his sermon's making her feel alive. Usually church put her to sleep, but Grandpa was different. She called him Poppa because her father called him Pop and when she was two she copied it, but she didn't know what to call him now that she was almost 17 and hadn't seen him since she was ten. How would he feel about his grandchild living an "altenative lifestyle". If she had's Dad's support, it wouldn't be so bad. However, she wasn't in the mood for a sinner speach from Preacher Grandpa anymore than she wanted one from her holier-than-thou father. As they pulled into the driveway she cringed. 

It was amazimg that the east coast retained a beauty in the small neighborhoods, well at least this neighborhood did. Her Grandfather wasn't rich, but he had a house from a time she forgot. Instead of being dark and cluttered, the street was bright. Kids were running up and down sidewalks. People had LAWNS, actual green lawns. There was an old couple sitting on the porch. She smiled, if only for a second the scenery warmed her. 

She watched the children, wishing for that careless time of long ago, but it was gone, innocence was over. Her father saw her watching the kids. 

"You know how you get thoose right?" He told her. 

"The stork, right," Cindy spat back. 

'Thanks for ruining the moment,' she thought. Her mother looked upset, but said nothing. She stepped out the car and slammed the door. 

"Hey," he yelled. "You can't pay for that.' 

'Neither can you,' she mumbled, knowing half this trip was fueled with borrowed money. 

As they walked up to the porch, she caught sight of a unbelievably cute little Hispanic girl. She smiled at her just a little and recieved a small slap to the back of the head. 

"You will not behave that way in front of my father and embarass him." 

"I didn't ask to come, I wanted to stay home. And Diamond will be there when I get back." 

"If you go back," her father replied. 

She suddenly panicked, her heart beat quickened. Was he planning on leaving her here? 

"Cindy will get back to her girl, that's fo' sho'" 

"Don't talk about yourself in the third person," her father grunted. "You got that from that, that, that girl." 

"Of course, I must have got it from THAT GIRL, because it's impossible for Cindy to have an original thought. It's alway's Diamond's fault." 

"Don't say her name around me," he said. 

"Diamond," she whispered behind his back as the door opened. 

"My boy," her grandfather said with a big grin as he hugged the younger, spitting image of himself. "And my baby girl," he said turning toward her. "Just like you're Grandmother, god you could be her. Got yourself a boyfriend? Bet you do as cute as you are." 

"No Sir," Cindy said. 

"Sir? Call me Poppa like you use to," her Grandfather said. 

Cindy smiled. "Well Poppa, Cindy's not really into boys these days. She has other things on her mind." 

Her panicked father threw a warning glance her way. 

"Odd, sixteen and not dating. Well she must be a late bloomer. That's okay, we know what happens to those who peak to soon." 

Her father chuckled nervously. She would continue to talk in third person, it was her only revenge against him for dragging her out her. As beautiful as it was here, she had friends home who accepted her, places where she could go to be herself, and the love of her life was home, not here.   
  


Dinner was civil. Except the verbal games continued at dinner. She continued to hint at the fact she was dating a girl without saying anything, watching the panick rise in her father's face. Her Grandfather never caught on, he just talked about how important family was and how good if felt to have a full table again. 

"Can I be excused?" Cindy asked when she finished her meal. "I'd just like to walk around." 

Her father started to say no. 

"Sure," her Grandfather chimed in. 

"Thanks Poppa," Cindy said with false enthusiasim as she ran and threw her arms around him. 

"Well it's your vacation," he chuckled. "Maybe you'll met a nice boy from the neighborhood." 

Cindy went outside and suddenly she could breath again. So many hours in close quaters with her parents had suffocated her. She exhaled. 

"Hey," a young female voice said. She looked and saw it was the hispanic girl she'd seen earlier. 

"Hey," she replied. "I saw you earlier." 

"Yeah, I saw you seeing me," she said. "My name is Alex." 

"Cynthia," Cindy said as they shook hands. "Have you lived around here long?" 

"A couple months, my parents sent me out here to live with my aunt. Trying to get me away from my bad bad boyfriend." 

"I understand that," Cindy said. "I was kinda drug out here for the same reasons." 

"So we're kindred spirits," Alex replied. They smiled at each other. 

"So what did your bad bad boy do?" Alex asked. 

"Who said it was a boy?" she mumbled. 

"What?" Alex said. 

"Nothing," Cindy smiled. "My boo was on lock down for stealing a car, almost got me arrested. But D never did me wrong like my last---well while D was on lock down I dated this other one and that one went and had a baby with someone else. Cheated the whole time." 

Alex laughed. "That's what my parents don't get. Chris has his faults, but he loves me. He'd never do me wrong." 

Cindy was starting to fear her parents were planning on leaving her here and if so she needed one ally. The truth would come in time, Alex seemed nice. 

"Cynthia," a voice called from inside the house. Her mother. 

"I got to go," Cindy said. 

"See you Cynthia," Alex said. 

"Call me Cindy," Cindy told her. She reluctantly entered the house.   
  
  


Mom stepped into the bedroom just as Cindy was climbing into bed. Cindy welcomed her warm hug and kiss goodnight. She welcomed any warmth from her mother. 

"I saw you with that girl," she said. 

"She has a boyfriend. And I have a girlfriend. You know it is still possible for me to have girls that are friends." 

"I know, but your father's not going to see it that way. He sees his daughter turning into, well, a teenage boy. He sees you with a young girl and the sirens go off in his head." 

Cindy sighed. "I just want to be a regular teenager mom. God, I'm almost seventeen, will he ever stop seeing me as a gay person and start seeing me as a person." 

"Sweetie, I stopped seeing you as my gay teenager over a year ago. I just see you as a teenager and I get those same sirens in my head when I see you with a girl." 

"It ain't always about that though, every man in the world doesn't turn your head, why would every girl turn mine?" 

Her mother laughed. "Because your a teenager, gay or straight, that's what you are," her mother smiled. "And unfortunatly, teenagers have very unstable hormones." 

They smiled together. 

Her mother sighed. "The difference between your father and I is he sees you turning into something different from other teenagers and I see you're just like them, you just love differently." 

"I know you do your best to be accepting mom and I appreciate it, but home will never be okay unless he sees me that way. I'm sorry mom, but as soon as I got an out, I'm gone." 

"Baby don't," her mother began. 

"I'm sorry mom," Cindy said. 

"I guess you'll do what you have to do." 

She and her mother hugged. It was good to know she had her if she needed her.   
  
  


She got up in the morning to her parents arging in thier room. She looked out the window and saw that her Grandfather's car was gone. 

"You're going to push our daughter away!" her mother yelled 

"She's pushing herself away by choosing to be---" Her father began 

"Don't you see it's no more of a choice then--" her mother interrupted. 

'Don't you see that NO MATTER WHAT I'm 'attracted' to," her father interjected. "I remain loyal to you, my wife, because that is what god wants of me." 

"And don't you see, that it's not your duty to judge her. You are not God." 

"No, but it's my duty to teach her," her father snapped. 

She heard a door slam. He was gone. The doorbell rang minutes later, her mother answered.   
She went in the bathroom. When she came out, her mother was there. 

"Alex is downstairs," she said with a smile. 

"She's just a possible friend mom," Cindy said. "And she kinda doesn't know about certain things yet so I'd rather keep them to myself." She checked her watch. "It's 10:30 already?" 

"Yeah, we figured you needed your rest after that long ride, so we let you sleep. Now go on and see to your guest." That smile was back on her mother's face. 

"Friend," Cindy emphasized again. 

"Fine," her mother said kissing her forhead. "Enjoy your vacation." 

"Thanks mom," Cindy said. 

Cindy went in the living room and Alex was sitting there with her feet up on the coffee table. She had on ripped jeans and a mid driff top. She couldn't deny the girl was throwing sexual energy all over the place. So she was attracted, sort of, she loved Diamond enough that she could put it aside. And she was desperate for a friend. 

"Hey new girl, you want me to show you around town." 

"I haven't had breakfast yet," Cindy said. 

"Neither have I," the girl said. "I know where we can get some cinnamon buns." 

"Cool," Cindy replied. 

Her mother entered the room. 

"We're going to go hang out," Cindy told her. "So if Dad ask, you know where I am." 

"Okay," her mother said. "Be good." 

Her mother hugged her and gave her a kiss on the forehead. Then the girls left the house.   
  
  
  


"Your mom seems cool," Alex said. "My mom is always bitchin' me." 

"Mom is cool. Dad is another story." 

"Never had the dad problem," Alex told her. 

"So what did Chris do to annoy your mom?" 

"My mom and her girfriend," Chris replied. 

Cindy stopped short. "Your mom and her .... Girlfriend?" 

"Yeah," Alex said. "Does that bother you?" 

"I'm just surprised. I've never met anybody who had parents that were--." 

"And maybe that's why you thought you had to not say you have a girlfriend at home." 

Cindy kinda laughed to herself. "You heard me? I didn't know how--" 

"It's cool," Alex said. "To each his own. So are you bi or just into girls, cause I couldn't decode that whole ex and a baby with someone else deal." 

"I'm not bi," Cindy told her. "I guess you could say my ex-girlfriend was since she's now with the ex-boyfriend she cheated on me with and having his baby." 

"It's cool that you've come to terms with it so young. How long have you been out?" 

"Since I was about 15, I'm almost 17 now. It seems like forever and a day ago since I first met Diamond and--" 

"So D is Diamond," Alex said with a smile. 

"I'm just asking, I mean I love my girl, but I just was curious, Are you bi?" 

"No, I pretty much like my fellas." 

They laughed together. 

"We're still kindred spirits," Alex said. "Me and you and the loves we were stolen from." 

Alex threw an arm around her shoulder as they entered a little bakery. Such a warm girl. Now that the whole "who I am" issue was out of the way, the day went smoothly. They talked about love over breakfast. It seems Alex's guy, Chris, was in to some illegal smuggling mostly because of his father. He couldn't get out for that reason, but he wanted out. Alex loved him and tried to stand by his side, but her mother and Gina (the girlfriend) wanted no part of it. Cindy spilled about Diamond. It was the first time she had been so comfortable sharing girl talk with a girl. Even the best friend of her youth, Josie, didn't want to hear about her relationship drama. 

After Breakfast, Josie took her window shopping. The looked at makeup, and clothing. They tried on some things. They bought some perfume, make up and one outfit each, simply because they couldn't resist. It was a good day, filled with laughing and just being herself with another girl. That was completly refreshing. She was in no particular rush to get home or to "Poppa's" house and start pretending again. But she ran into "Poppa" anyway while they were browsing hats. 

"Cindy," Poppa said. "I thought that was you." 

"Hey Poppa," Cindy replied. "Do you know Alex?" 

"Yes," he said. "Her Aunt has been bringing her to my church." 

"How are you sir?" she asked. 

"Fine," he said. "And you? Are you showing my little Granddaughter here a good time?" 

"Yeah, she's great," Cindy answered for Alex. "Alex is just about the best thing here." 

"How about I buy you two a little treat," he said 

They shrugged. He told them to come along and he bought them some ice cream. Cindy had to admit, the man was pleasent. She had to wonder however, if he would turn into the same homophobic his son was if he knew about his granddaughter. He offered them a ride back, but Alex saved her from that saying there were still things she wanted to show her. So Poppa left them. It was good visiting with Poppa, but the aniexity was to much. 

She made it back that evening just in time to plop down in a chair and eat dinner with Poppa, her father, and mother. Poppa was bragging about seeing her out with Alex and her father eyed her the entire time as if he was asking "who is this girl?" 

"I think Cindy here has got a new best friend," her grandfather said. 

"Cindy thinks Alex is the best thing about this vacation," Cindy said with a smile in response to her father's silent question. 

She got up from the table early again, with "Poppa's" permision. She was really starting to annoy her father by cutting around him this way. She met Alex about 20 minutes later and they walked together to this fast food place called "Twister" where a bunch of kids thier age hung out. Alex introduced her to some people and they hung out till 10:00. When she came home, her father met her on the porch. 

"What's up dad?" Cindy said. 

"I don't know who that Alex girl is, but it stops now." 

"She's a friend dad. Nothing else, just a friend." 

"I don't want you around that Alex girl." 

"Why? You drag me out here and I actually make a friend and you want to stop it. You're not going to be happy till I'm misrable are you?" 

"I don't want that, but I want you to live the right kind of life." 

"No you're mad because you wanted this to be some kind of punishment and instead I'm actually enjoying myself. Because you hate me, you want the rest the world to hate me." 

"I don't hate you Cindy, I just don't approve of the path your traveling." 

"Dad," Cindy said. "If you hate who I am, You hate me and that's how I feel." 

Cindy stomped away from her father and into the room designated to her. She curled up in bed and went to sleep.   
  


Cindy was up and out of bed before her parents woke up the next day. Her mother and father had had another argument about her. She spent the day hanging with Alex and some other kids trying not to think about her parents and what was going on with them. However, by evening she found herself spilling all the details to Alex. 

"Maybe I can go live with your parents," Cindy said afterward. 

Alex laughed. "That would be ideal, if only life was ideal." 

"Yeah," Cindy replied. "Actually everything would be fine if my dad was more like my mom." 

"Your mom is cool," Alex sighed. "Tell your Grandfather, see how he reacts. He counciled me and my mom and Gina. I don't think he's anything like your dad." 

"But it's like Diamond told me, sometimes it's easier to deal with something when it's not your family, not your daughter, not your cousin." 

"Yeah," Alex said. "I see what you mean. I still think he'd be cooler than your dad about it. Your dad's being a complete ass, your Grandfather is nothing like that." 

Alex checked her watch. "Damn, I got to meet my aunt." 

"Alright, why don't you come by tonight for dinner? Maybe we'll bring up the subject." 

"Cool," Alex said as she left. 

Bored, Cindy decided to do something she had been afraid of since she'd been here, visit her grandfather's church. The whole walk there she was telling herself to turn around. She made it to his church and found him sweeping up and putting the hymnals in there proper place. 

"Cindy," he said smiling at her. 

"Hey Poppa," Cindy said more naturally than she had the whole vacation. 

"What brings you here?" 

"Boredom," she quickly stated. "Sorry." 

"It's okay," her grandfather said. "Come here." He said sitting in the pew. 

She came and sat beside him. 

"I've been your father's father for a long time. So I know things even when I don't let on that I know them," he told her. 

Cindy suddenly flushed, her heart beat sped up. She was afraid he'd hear an argument and begin to pry. 

"You and my son aren't getting along are you?" 

"I've just made some choices lately that he doesn't agree with." 

"What are these choices?" 

"Dating choices," Cindy said. "Sort of like Alex, kinda different." 

"All of us have issues when our children start dating." 

"I think mine are a little different," Cindy replied. She looked up at her grandfather. "Poppa, do I really look like my Grandmother." She was really just trying to change the subject. 

"Ohh yes," he smiled. "First time I saw her, she was at a dance. I found her utterly breath taking. She was wearing a dress her mother made for her, white, before becoming her dress, they were curtains." 

Cindy smiled at the sparkle in his eyes as he remebered. 

"I think it was her simplicity that pulled me in, that made her real to me." He sighed. "I loved her from that day until now. I'll love her till the day I die." 

"I wonder if my parents will last as long as you and grandma. I think I'm pulling them apart." 

"You can't destroy thier marriage or hold it together, only they can." 

"What do you think of Alex's parents?" 

"Why do you ask?" 

"Curious." 

"I don't agree with thier lifestyle, I think a child should have a father and a mother, but I have met parents with far less dedication to a child. They are an exceptional couple. I respect them." 

Respect was a good word, she liked it. 

"So you don't mind if Alex comes to dinner?" 

"No," her grandfather said. 

"Great, I invited her," Cindy said. 

"She's become a fast friend to you, huh?" 

"Yeah," Cindy replied. "We're kindred spirits." 

"Well, I have an apointment, so I'll see you two kindred spirits at home." 

"Okay Poppa," she said giving him a hug. 

She got up and started to leave. 

"Cindy," he said. 

"Yeah" 

"Remeber, Your old Poppa wasn't born yesterday," he said. 

"Okay," she replied and left the church.   
  


Dinner time came before Cindy knew it. Alex showe up early and her father had one eye on them the entire night. Everytime they laughed at some private joke, you could see the hairs rise on her father's neck. He didn't say anything mostly because his own father was there. Finally dinner time came and they all sat at the table. 

"So, Alex tell my mom about your parents," Cindy said halfway through the meal. 

"Well there's my mom and there's Gina." 

"Gina?" her mother questioned. 

"Gina is my mom's girfriend. They raised me. I sort of fell in love with this awesome guy named Chris, they didn't approve so they sent me out here to live with my Aunt." 

"Chris wasn't exactly a prince," Cindy's Grandfather said. "Gina and your mother did what they thought was best for you." 

"Don't you find it a little uncomfortable not having a father around?" Cindy's father asked. 

"No, I mean I have people that love me, so in the end it really is just about that." 

"Actually," Poppa said. "I agree. I've seen families that appear quite normal on the outside, a mess internally. Alex's aunt doesn't agree with her sisters lifestyle, but she and Alex's mother and Gina all work together to give Alex the best." 

"If only they understood Chris," Alex said playing with her food. 

"I know the feeling," Cindy replied. 

"I still say it's wrong. God did not make Adam and Steve or Eve and Amanda," Cindy's father said. 

"Son," Cindy's grandfather said. "I sense a problem here that has nothing to do with Alex." 

"Alex," Cindy's father grumbled. "My daughter would find a girl with a boys name." 

"First of all my name is Alexandria? And second of all what does my name have to do with anything?" Alex asked. 

"You know what he's implying, just as well as I do," Cindy said. She turned to her grandfather. "Poppa, I'm gay. I came out to my parents when I was 15. Over a year and a half ago. My dad's been afraid I would tell you or take Alex to bed this wholetrip." 

"I told you Poppa wasn't a fool," her grandfather said. "There were a lot of little hints. And I've talked with your mother, since you wouldn't tell me anything. And son, I can't believe what you're doing to your daughter." 

"What I'm doing to her? She's destroying this family." 

"No son, you are. Your daughter is being honest about who she is." 

"Who she is? It's not who she is, it's who she thinks she is. I can't believe you even support it." 

"She's done nothing wrong son." 

"She's dating a teenage convict." 

"If that was your problem, it would be a ligitimate concern. " 

"You didn't like Skate," Cindy pointed out. "And she wasn't a convict." 

"That's where the problem is son," her grandfather pointed out. 

"I will not accept this ever, as long as she lives under my roof." 

"Well maybe I won't live under your roof anymore!!" Cindy yelled. "I have friends who accept me. I don't need you. I'll leave." 

"Cindy," her mother began. "Don't---" 

"I'm serious. I don't need this. I'm almost 17." 

"Is 17 some magic number. As far as I know, I am in charge till you're 18." 

"Then stop me dad," Cindy yelled. 

He didn't move. 

"You know you can't," Cindy spat at him. "And I'm not dealing with this anymore. I'm sick of it. Cindy's leaving your house, she'll find her own way." 

Cindy left the table, left her father. Alex followed and so did her mother as arguments began at the table between father and son.   
  
  


By the time they got in the room, Cindy was throwing clothes around looking for her sector pass. When she found it, she began packing her clothes. 

"Cindy where are you going?" her mother asked. 

"Home" 

She threw her clothes into her bag and started toward the door. 

"How are you going to get home?" 

"Train, hitchhiking, I don't care." 

"Do you have enough money?" 

"I'll manage." 

"Stay, we'll work it out," her mother said. 

"We can't, we've tried. I got to make a stand mom. I love you, but I have to make this stand." 

Cindy's mother took some money out her pocket and shoved it in her hand. 

"No, mom," Cindy said. "I got to do this on my own." 

"Please, let me help you just this little bit. Take a train, I love you sweetheart," her mother said. "I love you too Mom. Thank Poppa for me." 

"You got your pass for getting back in the city?" her mother asked. 

"Yeah," Cindy replied showing her the sector pass. She hugged her again. 

"I love you so much. Don't think I'm out of your life just because you have to make this stand." 

"Okay," she replied. 

"Be safe," her mom said. 

"I'll walk her to the train station," Alex said. 

Her mother reluctantly let her go and the two girls left together.   
  
  


"I'm proud to be your friend," Alex told her when the two girls were outside. "You're brave. " 

"If I don't stand up now, he'll knock me down to a place I don't want to be." 

"You're an Original girl, don't ever forget that," Alex told her. 

They hugged. She and Alex took the long walk to the train station. With the money her mother gave her, she was able to scrape together enough for a cheep train ticket. It was a long way home, but she felt she was going home with a lot less baggage then she had come with and that was a good thing.   
  



End file.
